Erma Bombeck Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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Growing up, my birthday was always Confederate Memorial Day. It helped to create this profound sense of awareness about the Civil War and the 100 years between the Civil War and the civil rights movement and my parents' then-illegal and interracial marriage.
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I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too.
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In terms of my involvement in 'don't ask, don't tell' and marriage equality and anti-bullying and social emotional learning in schools - these are all things that arise out of my relationship with the world and with my fans.
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After marriage, most women keep aside their aspirations and dreams as their priorities change.
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Marriage is a very good thing, but I think it's a mistake to make a habit out of it.
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I think marriage is a beautiful thing. I'm still a supporter of it.
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The priesthood is a marriage. People often start by falling in love, and they go on for years without realizing that love must change into some other love which is so unlike it that it can hardly be recognized as love at all.
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When I was born here in Gulfport in 1966, my parents' interracial marriage was still illegal, and it was very hard to drive around town with my parents, to be out in public with my parents.
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I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.
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The Obama administration came into Utah and said, 'We're not going to listen to what the U.S. Supreme Court said. 'We, the federal government, are going to recognize marriages in the state of Utah and Utah state law explicitly does not recognize as marriage,' and that was really, in my view, an abuse of power.
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Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.
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It's so funny: at 'SNL,' Bill Hader always kind of treated me like his little sister and would kind of, like, lovingly bully me.
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There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothing is sad. You want that contrast.
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Even though people may be well known, they hold in their hearts the emotions of a simple person for the moments that are the most important of those we know on earth: birth, marriage and death.
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Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate.
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Flirting is funny. And it's awkward and weird.
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I'm doin' something different. I mean, I talk a little bit about race and interracial dating, but it's not the heart of my act. I just try to do what I think is funny; there's no huge message or through line.
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I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
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If boys say something that's not funny, you don't have to laugh.
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Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart.
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I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.
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We didn't have much money when I was younger, so I had to collect Coke bottles and cash them in and get a paper route to afford a guitar. That guitar from Sears came with a case and an amp and everything all in one. It was really cool.
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It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.
