Erma Bombeck Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too.
Wanda Sykes -
In terms of my involvement in 'don't ask, don't tell' and marriage equality and anti-bullying and social emotional learning in schools - these are all things that arise out of my relationship with the world and with my fans.
Lady Gaga -
Marriage is a very good thing, but I think it's a mistake to make a habit out of it.
W. Somerset Maugham -
I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.
Edith Sitwell -
There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothing is sad. You want that contrast.
J. Michael Straczynski -
Even though people may be well known, they hold in their hearts the emotions of a simple person for the moments that are the most important of those we know on earth: birth, marriage and death.
Jackie Kennedy
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I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
Dane Cook -
The funny thing is that I'm the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who's traveled with me. Normally, I'm in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia!
Vera Wang -
Johnny Rotten. He's a big fan of mine. I used to see him out in the audience in England and he'd stand up and holler. He's funny. Smart too, and a nice guy. Don't think he's a jerk because he isn't.
Captain Beefheart -
Turn up the lights. I don't want to go home in the dark.
O. Henry -
Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
H. L. Mencken -
To do something funny, you have to have experienced it in real life and digested it in a way that amuses you.
Ted Danson
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It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
H. L. Mencken -
It's funny because everyone says you sleep when baby sleeps or you take a nap when baby takes a nap. That's true when you have one. When you have two, that is not true.
Vanessa Lachey -
Normally, it's one or the other - a pretty, straight woman or a more charactery woman who isn't supposed to be attractive. But women like Tina Fey are leading the charge on being both. You can be funny and attractive.
Becki Newton -
It's funny, in a way the actor is a writer. It's not like the two things are so separate as to be like apples and oranges. The writer and the actor are one.
Sam Shepard -
Death isn't a funny thing. We're all lucky to be living.
Pauly Shore -
Men, who certainly possess not only the savvy but also the know-how to be funny, for some reason, are just not. I began to notice this at a pretty young age, and unfortunately, a lifetime of living - and not a little bit of regret - hasn't done much to convince me otherwise.
Ellie Kemper
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Usually, impersonations come out of something you dig, because you're listening to it over and over. And you kind of start developing... You're really trying to emulate them, then you realize, 'I sound ridiculous doing this. Oh, hey, maybe this is a funny impersonation.'
Alex Borstein -
What can I do if everyone from the president to a junior bureaucrat is dying to convict me. If I am such a criminal, what was I doing outside jail before my marriage to Benazir?
Asif Ali Zardari -
The book business is hidebound.
Philip K. Dick -
On visiting India this time, because of my previous visit, I did have a certain amount of knowledge about the country, but I also felt that there was much greater interest in Japan and deeper interaction between the two countries now than the last time I was there.
Akihito -
It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.
Erma Bombeck