Erma Bombeck Quotes
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. "What shall we name the other one?" I smiled. She was not amused.
Quotes to Explore
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I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too.
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I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny.
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Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
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It's only I have seen enough of it and the funny thing is now, I know that I'm skinny, because I know there are even smaller clothes in the store. I think I'm big, when I was big, I never thought about it.
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My CIA colleagues were smart, dedicated, funny, and creative. Yes, there was sometimes stifling bureaucracy, boredom, colleagues who never should have been there, and later, deeply disturbing stories of the CIA's involvement in torture. Still, I got to do work I thought was incredibly important and, many times, had fun doing it.
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My voice is distinctive: there's a rhythm to it, and also, it's funny. I was just blessed with a funny-sounding voice.
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I am convinced that in the arts, committees are useless.
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I have an unfortunate personality.
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Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
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I was extremely lucky that I had two great wives. It sounds a bit funny to say that, but it's absolutely true.
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I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
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If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
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Life is funny. If you don't laugh, you're in trouble.
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I think that it's hard for vain people to be funny. I think you can look any way you want as long as you have a good sense of humor about yourself. People who are concerned with their looks and what they're wearing and how they present themselves tend to have less of a sense of humor about themselves.
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There are a lot of funny people and a lot of unfunny people. Some of them are women and some of them are dudes.
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What's funny is my mom took me to the theater for the first time when I was six years old, and I was just amazed by it. I just said, 'Hey Mom, can I do this too?' And so she signed me up for little theater classes, and I remember my first audition for a play when I was seven years old was for 'The Thankful Elf.'
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A lot of funny stuff happens in Canada.
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In my film 'Queen', there was a funny moment with the bra. My director called and said they are blurring the bra. They said it is vulgar. Our director was furious about it. We are artistes... We see props as they are. A woman's bra is not a danger to the society.
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I am sorry my decisions do not meet with your approval, but nevertheless, they are mine, and the consequences are also mine.
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I've been very lucky in this second marriage. It's just luck. It's absolute luck. And I can only marvel at it. So many other things could have happened that didn't, so overall I feel blessed.
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Their savage eyes turned to a modest gaze by the sweet power of music.
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The first thing I always look at on a girl is her eyes.
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Recess and lunch are the best.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. "What shall we name the other one?" I smiled. She was not amused.
