Evan Esar Quotes
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Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.
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Only one man has the right to boast, and that's the man who never does.
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Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
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It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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Some couples divorce because of a misunderstanding; others, because they understand each other too well.
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Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and imagination is usually lack of common sense.
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A husband may forget where he went on his honeymoon, but he never forgets why.
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The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.
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Somebody is always doing something that somebody else said couldn't be done.
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Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery; nowadays it is called moonlighting.
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There is a lot of difference between the man who is not able and his brother who is notable.
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The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn't trying to reform her husband.
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The difference between two men is usually a woman.
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The trouble with dieting is that a pound of will power takes off only an ounce of weight.
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America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
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If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
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A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.