Evan Esar Quotes
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We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth.
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A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.
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Somebody is always doing something that somebody else said couldn't be done.
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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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Compare what you want with what you have, and you'll be unhappy; compare what you deserve with what you have, and you'll be happy.
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The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn't trying to reform her husband.
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Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.
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The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
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The state of the Union largely depends on the state of the unions.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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The trouble with dieting is that a pound of will power takes off only an ounce of weight.
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Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and imagination is usually lack of common sense.
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It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
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The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
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The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
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Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
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The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.