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The difference between us and other people is that their money looks bigger and their troubles smaller.
Evan Esar -
Statistics Fiction in its most uninteresting form.
Evan Esar
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If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
Evan Esar -
Sometimes the unexpected happens when you don't expect a person to come up to expectations.
Evan Esar -
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
Evan Esar -
Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
Evan Esar -
A word to the wise is -- unnecessary.
Evan Esar -
More diets start in dress shops than in doctors' offices.
Evan Esar
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Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and imagination is usually lack of common sense.
Evan Esar -
The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.
Evan Esar -
Some men take good care of a car; others treat it like one of the family.
Evan Esar -
A mathematician is a scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
Evan Esar -
The little boy who goes to the store and forgets what his mother sent him for, will probably grow up to be a congressman.
Evan Esar -
Many people will laugh at the drop of a hat, especially if the man is still in it.
Evan Esar
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In Congress the majority governs, but the minority rules.
Evan Esar -
The cat: an animal that's so unpredictable, you can never tell in advance how it will ignore you the next time.
Evan Esar -
The reason why men who mind their own business succeed is that they have so little competition.
Evan Esar -
Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
Evan Esar -
A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
Evan Esar -
You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
Evan Esar
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After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride.
Evan Esar -
Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.
Evan Esar -
If you can't bear to have your face stepped on, don't try to climb the ladder of success.
Evan Esar -
Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.
Evan Esar