Evan Esar Quotes
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
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The trouble with dieting is that a pound of will power takes off only an ounce of weight.
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The cat: an animal that's so unpredictable, you can never tell in advance how it will ignore you the next time.
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Everything comes to him who waits -- if he waits till it comes.
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A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
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Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
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The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
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Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions-because they know all the answers.
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The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
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Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.
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After wisdom comes wit.
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There is a lot of difference between the man who is not able and his brother who is notable.
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Many a man works himself to death by burying himself in his work.
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The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.
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Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and imagination is usually lack of common sense.
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Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.
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The reason why men who mind their own business succeed is that they have so little competition.
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You can't judge the ability of a doctor by the amount of praise the undertakers give him.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman; it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
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You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
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Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
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All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.