Evan Esar Quotes
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A husband may forget where he went on his honeymoon, but he never forgets why.
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The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn't trying to reform her husband.
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Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
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The difference between two men is usually a woman.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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Many a man works himself to death by burying himself in his work.
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
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Many an actor does the stage more ham than good.
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There's only one thing worse than to live without working, and that is to work without living.
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
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Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
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There is a lot of difference between the man who is not able and his brother who is notable.
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A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
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Many a wedding takes place when a man can't afford to go steady with a girl any longer.
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The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.
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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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The little boy who goes to the store and forgets what his mother sent him for, will probably grow up to be a congressman.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.
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We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth.
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You can always tell the golfer who's winning: he's the one who keeps telling his opponent that it's only a game.