Evan Esar Quotes
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Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you realize how foolish you've been.
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Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
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Compare what you want with what you have, and you'll be unhappy; compare what you deserve with what you have, and you'll be happy.
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The state of the Union largely depends on the state of the unions.
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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth.
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Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.
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The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn't trying to reform her husband.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
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A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
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The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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The difference between two men is usually a woman.
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Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions-because they know all the answers.
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Many an actor does the stage more ham than good.
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The trouble with dieting is that a pound of will power takes off only an ounce of weight.
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America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.