Evan Esar Quotes
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The Lord takes care of his own, but church trustees still put lightning rods on the steeple.
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The little boy who goes to the store and forgets what his mother sent him for, will probably grow up to be a congressman.
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There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
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Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.
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A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
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The state of the Union largely depends on the state of the unions.
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Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn't trying to reform her husband.
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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth.
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Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
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A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
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The trouble with dieting is that a pound of will power takes off only an ounce of weight.
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Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.
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The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
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The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.
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Children grow out of childhood, but parents never grow out of parenthood.
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Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions-because they know all the answers.
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A husband may forget where he went on his honeymoon, but he never forgets why.
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Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
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Many an actor does the stage more ham than good.