Evan Esar Quotes
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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The difference between two men is usually a woman.
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It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
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The state of the Union largely depends on the state of the unions.
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If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
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The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
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The trouble with dieting is that a pound of will power takes off only an ounce of weight.
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.
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Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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Only one man has the right to boast, and that's the man who never does.
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You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
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Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and imagination is usually lack of common sense.
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America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
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There is a lot of difference between the man who is not able and his brother who is notable.
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A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman; it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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Many a man works himself to death by burying himself in his work.
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Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
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In a democracy, you believe it or not; in a dictatorship, you believe it or else.
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The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn't trying to reform her husband.