Evan Esar Quotes
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The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
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Good teachers cost a lot; but, poor teachers cost a lot more.
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You can always tell the golfer who's winning: he's the one who keeps telling his opponent that it's only a game.
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Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.
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The diamond is the hardest stone -- to get.
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Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
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The state of the Union largely depends on the state of the unions.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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There is a lot of difference between the man who is not able and his brother who is notable.
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The trouble with dieting is that a pound of will power takes off only an ounce of weight.
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Many people will laugh at the drop of a hat, especially if the man is still in it.
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Some men take good care of a car; others treat it like one of the family.
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With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.
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Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment.
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
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The difference between two men is usually a woman.
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The little boy who goes to the store and forgets what his mother sent him for, will probably grow up to be a congressman.
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Many a wedding takes place when a man can't afford to go steady with a girl any longer.
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There would be no population explosion if people who are trying to keep the wolf from the door wouldn't let the stork fly in through the window.
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There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
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Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and imagination is usually lack of common sense.