Evan Esar Quotes
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
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There is a lot of difference between the man who is not able and his brother who is notable.
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Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment.
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Some men take good care of a car; others treat it like one of the family.
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
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Many people will laugh at the drop of a hat, especially if the man is still in it.
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Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.
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The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
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An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.
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Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and imagination is usually lack of common sense.
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Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
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All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.
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The only thing more certain than the hatred of enemies is the envy of friends.
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Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.
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You can always tell the golfer who's winning: he's the one who keeps telling his opponent that it's only a game.
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America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
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If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.
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A man doesn't have vacation problems: his boss tells him when to take them, and his wife tells him where.
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Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
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The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
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Sometimes the unexpected happens when you don't expect a person to come up to expectations.
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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.