Evan Esar Quotes
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Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.
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Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery; nowadays it is called moonlighting.
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Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and imagination is usually lack of common sense.
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A batch of credit cards fattens a wallet before it thins it.
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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.
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There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
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The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
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The difference between two men is usually a woman.
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Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
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Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.
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The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.
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We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth.
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In a democracy, you believe it or not; in a dictatorship, you believe it or else.
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All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.
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Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions-because they know all the answers.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman; it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
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After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride.
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The difference between us and other people is that their money looks bigger and their troubles smaller.
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A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.