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The trouble with dieting is that a pound of will power takes off only an ounce of weight.
Evan Esar -
A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond.
Evan Esar
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The Lord takes care of his own, but church trustees still put lightning rods on the steeple.
Evan Esar -
After wisdom comes wit.
Evan Esar -
A bore finds it easy to start talking, and even easier to get others to stop listening.
Evan Esar -
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
Evan Esar -
The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.
Evan Esar -
A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.
Evan Esar
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Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
Evan Esar -
A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.
Evan Esar -
The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
Evan Esar -
Children grow out of childhood, but parents never grow out of parenthood.
Evan Esar -
The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you realize how foolish you've been.
Evan Esar -
You can tell a man's taste in literature by his judgment in knowing what not to read.
Evan Esar
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The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
Evan Esar -
There would be no population explosion if people who are trying to keep the wolf from the door wouldn't let the stork fly in through the window.
Evan Esar -
Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
Evan Esar -
Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
Evan Esar -
Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.
Evan Esar -
The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
Evan Esar
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In elections, the undecided vote is usually the deciding factor.
Evan Esar -
In a democracy, you believe it or not; in a dictatorship, you believe it or else.
Evan Esar -
A man doesn't have vacation problems: his boss tells him when to take them, and his wife tells him where.
Evan Esar -
A husband may forget where he went on his honeymoon, but he never forgets why.
Evan Esar