Evan Esar Quotes

United States, Writer
July 2, 1899 – 1995.

Evan Esar was an American humorist who wrote "Esar's Comic Dictionary" in 1943, "Humorous English" in 1961, and "20,000 Quips and Quotes" in 1968. He is known for quotes like "Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions." He also wrote The Legend of Joe Miller, which was privately printed for members of the Roxburghe Club of San Francisco by the Grabhorn Press in 1957.

Also known as Comedian

Compare what you want with what you have, and you'll be unhappy; compare what you deserve with what you have, and you'll be happy.

Evan Esar
- Deserve
- Unhappy
- Compare
Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.

Evan Esar
- Flower
- Charm
- Perfume

A man doesn't have vacation problems: his boss tells him when to take them, and his wife tells him where.

Evan Esar
- Wife
- Problems
- Vacation
All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.

Evan Esar
- Creator
- Urge
Age brings wisdom to some men, and to others chess.

Evan Esar
- Men
- Wisdom
- Chess
The only thing more certain than the hatred of enemies is the envy of friends.

Evan Esar
- Friends
- Enemies
If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal.

Evan Esar
- Different
- Want
- Act
If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.

Evan Esar
- Want
- Chance
- Successful

In elections, the undecided vote is usually the deciding factor.

Evan Esar
- Vote
- Elections
- Factor
A bore finds it easy to start talking, and even easier to get others to stop listening.

Evan Esar
- Listening
- Talking
- Finds
Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more.

Evan Esar
- Expected
Children grow out of childhood, but parents never grow out of parenthood.

Evan Esar
- Children
- Childhood
- Grow
Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches.

Evan Esar
- Divorce
- Price
- Matches
Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry -- and the world laughs harder.

Evan Esar
- Laugh
- Cry

An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise.

Evan Esar
- Actor
- Praise
There's nothing as short as short-term debt.

Evan Esar
- Debt