Evan Esar Quotes

United States, Writer
July 2, 1899 – 1995.

Evan Esar was an American humorist who wrote "Esar's Comic Dictionary" in 1943, "Humorous English" in 1961, and "20,000 Quips and Quotes" in 1968. He is known for quotes like "Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions." He also wrote The Legend of Joe Miller, which was privately printed for members of the Roxburghe Club of San Francisco by the Grabhorn Press in 1957.

Also known as Comedian

A husband may forget where he went on his honeymoon, but he never forgets why.

Evan Esar
- Husband
- Forget
- Honeymoon
Children grow out of childhood, but parents never grow out of parenthood.

Evan Esar
- Children
- Childhood
- Grow

If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.

Evan Esar
- Want
- Chance
- Successful
The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.

Evan Esar
- Science
- Prove
- Statistics
Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more.

Evan Esar
- Expected
Egocentricity: The vanity that makes you wonder what people are thinking about you when they are really wondering what you are thinking about them.

Evan Esar
- Thinking
- Wonder
All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.

Evan Esar
- Creator
- Urge
Age brings wisdom to some men, and to others chess.

Evan Esar
- Men
- Wisdom
- Chess

There's nothing as short as short-term debt.

Evan Esar
- Debt
Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches.

Evan Esar
- Divorce
- Price
- Matches
If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal.

Evan Esar
- Different
- Want
- Act
A bore finds it easy to start talking, and even easier to get others to stop listening.

Evan Esar
- Listening
- Talking
- Finds
In elections, the undecided vote is usually the deciding factor.

Evan Esar
- Vote
- Elections
- Factor
Many an actor does the stage more ham than good.

Evan Esar
- Actor
- Stage

Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry -- and the world laughs harder.

Evan Esar
- Laugh
- Cry
An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise.

Evan Esar
- Actor
- Praise