Evan Esar Quotes
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Some members of Congress ought to have their mouths taped instead of their speeches.
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The difference between two men is usually a woman.
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It takes far more courage to violate a custom than a law.
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Every bride and groom would do well to remember that in wedding, the we comes before the I.
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The trouble with dieting is that a pound of will power takes off only an ounce of weight.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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Statistics Fiction in its most uninteresting form.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
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Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions-because they know all the answers.
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Only one man has the right to boast, and that's the man who never does.
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The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.
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The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you realize how foolish you've been.
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Sometimes the unexpected happens when you don't expect a person to come up to expectations.
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The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn't trying to reform her husband.
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You can tell a man's taste in literature by his judgment in knowing what not to read.
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A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.
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Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
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There is a lot of difference between the man who is not able and his brother who is notable.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman; it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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Good teachers cost a lot; but, poor teachers cost a lot more.
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The state of the Union largely depends on the state of the unions.