Evan Esar Quotes
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The reason why men who mind their own business succeed is that they have so little competition.
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Many a man works himself to death by burying himself in his work.
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Only one man has the right to boast, and that's the man who never does.
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There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
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A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.
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A batch of credit cards fattens a wallet before it thins it.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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Some couples divorce because of a misunderstanding; others, because they understand each other too well.
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This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.
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Sometimes the unexpected happens when you don't expect a person to come up to expectations.
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Many a wedding takes place when a man can't afford to go steady with a girl any longer.
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The little boy who goes to the store and forgets what his mother sent him for, will probably grow up to be a congressman.
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The diamond is the hardest stone -- to get.
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Good teachers cost a lot; but, poor teachers cost a lot more.
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Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.
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With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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The Lord takes care of his own, but church trustees still put lightning rods on the steeple.
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Somebody is always doing something that somebody else said couldn't be done.
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A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
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Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.