Evan Esar Quotes
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It takes far more courage to violate a custom than a law.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
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The little boy who goes to the store and forgets what his mother sent him for, will probably grow up to be a congressman.
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The reason why men who mind their own business succeed is that they have so little competition.
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Good teachers cost a lot; but, poor teachers cost a lot more.
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The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
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The diamond is the hardest stone -- to get.
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Many a man works himself to death by burying himself in his work.
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The Lord takes care of his own, but church trustees still put lightning rods on the steeple.
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Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
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We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth.
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Egocentricity: The vanity that makes you wonder what people are thinking about you when they are really wondering what you are thinking about them.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you realize how foolish you've been.
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Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them.
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Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment.
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Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
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Many a wedding takes place when a man can't afford to go steady with a girl any longer.
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The state of the Union largely depends on the state of the unions.