Evan Esar Quotes
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Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.
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Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.
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You can tell a man's taste in literature by his judgment in knowing what not to read.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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The little boy who goes to the store and forgets what his mother sent him for, will probably grow up to be a congressman.
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The difference between two men is usually a woman.
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This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.
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Many a wedding takes place when a man can't afford to go steady with a girl any longer.
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Statistics Fiction in its most uninteresting form.
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A batch of credit cards fattens a wallet before it thins it.
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The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
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Every bride and groom would do well to remember that in wedding, the we comes before the I.
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The state of the Union largely depends on the state of the unions.
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Some couples divorce because of a misunderstanding; others, because they understand each other too well.
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The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn't trying to reform her husband.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery; nowadays it is called moonlighting.
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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
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It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
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Only one man has the right to boast, and that's the man who never does.