Evan Esar Quotes
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Many a man works himself to death by burying himself in his work.
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The most popular form of altruism is giving to others the advice you cannot use yourself.
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Sometimes the unexpected happens when you don't expect a person to come up to expectations.
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Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.
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Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
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A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.
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This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.
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The diamond is the hardest stone -- to get.
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
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Only one man has the right to boast, and that's the man who never does.
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With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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The little boy who goes to the store and forgets what his mother sent him for, will probably grow up to be a congressman.
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The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you realize how foolish you've been.
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Good teachers cost a lot; but, poor teachers cost a lot more.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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The reason why men who mind their own business succeed is that they have so little competition.
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Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment.
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Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.
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There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
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Many a wedding takes place when a man can't afford to go steady with a girl any longer.
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The Lord takes care of his own, but church trustees still put lightning rods on the steeple.
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Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
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Some couples divorce because of a misunderstanding; others, because they understand each other too well.