Evan Esar Quotes
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After wisdom comes wit.
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A batch of credit cards fattens a wallet before it thins it.
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The most popular form of altruism is giving to others the advice you cannot use yourself.
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We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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Many a wedding takes place when a man can't afford to go steady with a girl any longer.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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It takes far more courage to violate a custom than a law.
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Everything comes to him who waits -- if he waits till it comes.
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The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
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The little boy who goes to the store and forgets what his mother sent him for, will probably grow up to be a congressman.
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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Some couples divorce because of a misunderstanding; others, because they understand each other too well.
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The cat: an animal that's so unpredictable, you can never tell in advance how it will ignore you the next time.
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Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery; nowadays it is called moonlighting.
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A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
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Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.
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Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions-because they know all the answers.
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A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
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Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
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The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.