Evan Esar Quotes
-
About the only time Congress conforms to the will of the people is when it decides to adjourn.
-
Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.
-
Some people worry because they are in debt; others, because they can't even get in.
-
A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.
-
Don't be a hog: the only time a hog helps the community is when he dies.
-
Corrupt officials are usually close-mouthed and open-handed.
-
An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.
-
There's only one thing worse than to live without working, and that is to work without living.
-
A word to the wise is -- unnecessary.
-
Every bride and groom would do well to remember that in wedding, the we comes before the I.
-
Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.
-
There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
-
A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia.
-
More diets start in dress shops than in doctors' offices.
-
Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
-
Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment; and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
-
With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.
-
It's not the loss of life that makes the death bitter -- it's the obituaries.
-
An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom; a wisecrack, their divorce.
-
It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
-
When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.
-
The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.
-
The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.
-
Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.