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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom; a wisecrack, their divorce.
Evan Esar -
A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
Evan Esar
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
Evan Esar -
Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment; and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
Evan Esar -
Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
Evan Esar -
A lazy man's wife is generally the power behind the drone.
Evan Esar -
A woman is always ready to describe another woman as charming, but only if the other woman is not charming.
Evan Esar -
The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
Evan Esar
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, "to" + visum, past participle of videre, "to see". Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
Evan Esar -
The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.
Evan Esar -
The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
Evan Esar -
The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.
Evan Esar -
Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment.
Evan Esar
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Every bride and groom would do well to remember that in wedding, the we comes before the I.
Evan Esar -
It's not the loss of life that makes the death bitter -- it's the obituaries.
Evan Esar -
A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.
Evan Esar -
The tongue is the only muscle in the human body that never gets tired talking.
Evan Esar -
With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.
Evan Esar -
The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
Evan Esar
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
Evan Esar -
Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.
Evan Esar -
It takes far more courage to violate a custom than a law.
Evan Esar -
Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery; nowadays it is called moonlighting.
Evan Esar