Evan Esar Quotes
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Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.
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A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.
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Some women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables.
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A bacteriologist is a man whose conversation always start with the germ of an idea.
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A word to the wise is -- unnecessary.
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A woman is always ready to describe another woman as charming, but only if the other woman is not charming.
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All work and no pay makes a housewife.
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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The tongue is the only muscle in the human body that never gets tired talking.
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The reason why men who mind their own business succeed is that they have so little competition.
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Some couples divorce because of a misunderstanding; others, because they understand each other too well.
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After wisdom comes wit.
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Some members of Congress ought to have their mouths taped instead of their speeches.
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A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia.
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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment; and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
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More diets start in dress shops than in doctors' offices.
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The survival of the fittest is going to make some man very lonesome some day.
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Experience is a great teacher, and sometimes a pretty teacher is a great experience.
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Somebody is always doing something that somebody else said couldn't be done.
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It's not the loss of life that makes the death bitter -- it's the obituaries.
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Egocentric: A person who has his I's too close together.
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Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
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A bright eye indicates curiosity; a black eye, too much.
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You can tell a man's taste in literature by his judgment in knowing what not to read.