Evan Esar Quotes
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It takes far more courage to violate a custom than a law.
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The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you realize how foolish you've been.
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The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.
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A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.
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A word to the wise is -- unnecessary.
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A bacteriologist is a man whose conversation always start with the germ of an idea.
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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Some women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables.
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A smart mother suggests that her child bring an apple to his teacher; a smarter mother suggests that he bring a couple of aspirins.
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Experience is a great teacher, and sometimes a pretty teacher is a great experience.
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, "to" + visum, past participle of videre, "to see". Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
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After wisdom comes wit.
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A special skill, like speaking several languages, or keeping your mouth shut in one.
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Some members of Congress ought to have their mouths taped instead of their speeches.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
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The survival of the fittest is going to make some man very lonesome some day.
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The tongue is the only muscle in the human body that never gets tired talking.
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A woman is always ready to describe another woman as charming, but only if the other woman is not charming.
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The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.
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A bright eye indicates curiosity; a black eye, too much.
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Some couples divorce because of a misunderstanding; others, because they understand each other too well.