Evan Esar Quotes
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Experience is a great teacher, and sometimes a pretty teacher is a great experience.
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A bacteriologist is a man whose conversation always start with the germ of an idea.
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Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.
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All things come to him who waits, but they are mostly leftovers from those who didn't wait.
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The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
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In Congress the majority governs, but the minority rules.
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Everything comes to him who waits -- if he waits till it comes.
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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment; and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
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A special skill, like speaking several languages, or keeping your mouth shut in one.
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The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.
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The saddest thing in life is to marry a woman who looks like a cook--and isn't.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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A word to the wise is -- unnecessary.
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A compromise is a settlement by which each side gets what neither side wanted.
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Some couples divorce because of a misunderstanding; others, because they understand each other too well.
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The survival of the fittest is going to make some man very lonesome some day.
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Somebody is always doing something that somebody else said couldn't be done.
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A man is known by the company he keeps, but a woman is known by the company she keeps waiting.
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Some women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables.
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It takes far more courage to violate a custom than a law.