Evan Esar Quotes
-
There is nothing more dignified than a corpse.
-
The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.
-
The most uncommon form of intelligence is common sense.
-
The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.
-
When laziness attacks a woman, it always avoids her tongue.
-
Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
-
Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.
-
Some men are so eager for success that they are even willing to work for it.
-
Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars.
-
The word impossible is peculiar because if you examine it closely, you'll find that most of it is possible.
-
If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
-
Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
-
Worry makes people thin, except when they worry about being fat.
-
The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.
-
Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
-
A bureaucrat is an official who is clothed with power and whom it doesn't fit.
-
The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams.
-
A corporation has all the powers and privileges of an individual: all it lacks is a conscience.
-
Las Vegas is a resort whose two chief sources of income are seven and eleven.
-
Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.
-
Life is a battle of wits, and many people have to fight it unarmed.
-
If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
-
Lecturers should remember that the capacity of the mind to absorb is limited to what the seat can endure.
-
Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.