Evan Esar Quotes
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, "to" + visum, past participle of videre, "to see". Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
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A woman is always ready to describe another woman as charming, but only if the other woman is not charming.
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You can tell a man's taste in literature by his judgment in knowing what not to read.
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Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
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The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.
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The cat: an animal that's so unpredictable, you can never tell in advance how it will ignore you the next time.
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Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.
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Women diet to retain their girlish figures or their boyish husbands.
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The survival of the fittest is going to make some man very lonesome some day.
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Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment.
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A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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Sometimes the unexpected happens when you don't expect a person to come up to expectations.
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Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
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Statistics Fiction in its most uninteresting form.
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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After wisdom comes wit.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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The diamond is the hardest stone -- to get.
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Good teachers cost a lot; but, poor teachers cost a lot more.
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The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you realize how foolish you've been.
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The Lord takes care of his own, but church trustees still put lightning rods on the steeple.