Evan Esar Quotes
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A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.
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There's only one thing worse than to live without working, and that is to work without living.
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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment; and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
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You can always tell the golfer who's winning: he's the one who keeps telling his opponent that it's only a game.
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Some people worry because they are in debt; others, because they can't even get in.
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Every bride and groom would do well to remember that in wedding, the we comes before the I.
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Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.
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A word to the wise is -- unnecessary.
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It's not the loss of life that makes the death bitter -- it's the obituaries.
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Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.
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The cat: an animal that's so unpredictable, you can never tell in advance how it will ignore you the next time.
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The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.
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The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.
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It takes far more courage to violate a custom than a law.
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The most popular form of altruism is giving to others the advice you cannot use yourself.
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, "to" + visum, past participle of videre, "to see". Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
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An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.
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Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
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Statistics Fiction in its most uninteresting form.
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More diets start in dress shops than in doctors' offices.
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The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.
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Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
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Corrupt officials are usually close-mouthed and open-handed.
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Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.