Evan Esar Quotes
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
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The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.
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The survival of the fittest is going to make some man very lonesome some day.
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The diamond is the hardest stone -- to get.
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The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.
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Women diet to retain their girlish figures or their boyish husbands.
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The Lord takes care of his own, but church trustees still put lightning rods on the steeple.
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Sometimes the unexpected happens when you don't expect a person to come up to expectations.
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, "to" + visum, past participle of videre, "to see". Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
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The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.
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Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.
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A woman is always ready to describe another woman as charming, but only if the other woman is not charming.
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Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment.
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Good teachers cost a lot; but, poor teachers cost a lot more.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth.
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The most popular form of altruism is giving to others the advice you cannot use yourself.
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It takes far more courage to violate a custom than a law.
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Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.
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The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you realize how foolish you've been.
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A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.