Evan Esar Quotes
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There's only one thing worse than to live without working, and that is to work without living.
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Statistics Fiction in its most uninteresting form.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom; a wisecrack, their divorce.
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Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.
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Every bride and groom would do well to remember that in wedding, the we comes before the I.
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Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.
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With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.
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Women diet to retain their girlish figures or their boyish husbands.
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A batch of credit cards fattens a wallet before it thins it.
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Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
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After wisdom comes wit.
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This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.
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An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.
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More diets start in dress shops than in doctors' offices.
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Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.
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A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.
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The survival of the fittest is going to make some man very lonesome some day.
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The most popular form of altruism is giving to others the advice you cannot use yourself.
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There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
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Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.
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Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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Sometimes the unexpected happens when you don't expect a person to come up to expectations.
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The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.