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Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.
Evan Esar -
Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.
Evan Esar
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A lecturer often makes you feel dumb at one end and numb at the other.
Evan Esar -
The man who avoids debt doesn't have to worry about avoiding his creditors.
Evan Esar -
Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
Evan Esar -
A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa.
Evan Esar -
Communism is a form of government under which every citizen at election time enjoys the privilege of voting Yes.
Evan Esar -
Experience is a great teacher, and sometimes a pretty teacher is a great experience.
Evan Esar
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Hindsight is good, foresight is better; but second sight is best of all.
Evan Esar -
Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.
Evan Esar -
All work and no pay makes a housewife.
Evan Esar -
A bright eye indicates curiosity; a black eye, too much.
Evan Esar -
Consistency is a jewel, but too much jewelry is vulgar.
Evan Esar -
To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.
Evan Esar
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A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
Evan Esar -
Some women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables.
Evan Esar -
Egocentric: A person who has his I's too close together.
Evan Esar -
Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.
Evan Esar -
A bacteriologist is a man whose conversation always start with the germ of an idea.
Evan Esar -
You can always tell the golfer who's winning: he's the one who keeps telling his opponent that it's only a game.
Evan Esar
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Next time a man tells you talk is cheap, ask him if he knows how much a session of Congress costs.
Evan Esar -
Many a girl who can't dance well makes up for it during intermission.
Evan Esar -
Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.
Evan Esar -
Worry makes people thin, except when they worry about being fat.
Evan Esar