Scott Adams Quotes
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Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.
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Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.
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I would sometimes sit in a crowded restaurant, and say, 'You know, I'm the only person in this restaurant who can't draw.'
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'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.
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Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same.
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Crackpot is an excellent job because the expectations are so low. No one ever tells crackpots that they should be doing more.
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Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.
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Always Postpone Meetings with Time-wasting Morons
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As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.
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Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.
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Good advertising can make people buy your product even if it sucks ... A dollar spent on brainwashing is more cost-effective than a dollar spent on product improvement.
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Priority-wise, it simply makes sense to take care of yourself before you start searching for a higher meaning. You aren't much good to anyone else if you're unhealthy, a financial burden, or an emotional basket case. Fix yourself before you turn outward. It's best for everyone.
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Your inability to see other possibilities and your lack of vocabulary are your brain's limits, not the universe's.
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We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.
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He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.
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There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.
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Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.
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Mockery is an important social tool for squelching stupidity. I’ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I’ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
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Home is pretty utopian.
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Everything you learn becomes a shortcut for understanding something else.
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I believe in karma... that means i can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it.
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Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching.
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Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.