Scott Adams Quotes
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Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same.
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Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.
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If you’re going to create, create a lot. Creativity is not like playing the slot machines, where failure to win means you go home broke. With creativity, if you don’t win, you’re usually no worse off than if you hadn’t played.
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Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.
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We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.
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Good advertising can make people buy your product even if it sucks ... A dollar spent on brainwashing is more cost-effective than a dollar spent on product improvement.
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Your inability to see other possibilities and your lack of vocabulary are your brain's limits, not the universe's.
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I would sometimes sit in a crowded restaurant, and say, 'You know, I'm the only person in this restaurant who can't draw.'
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.
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Crackpot is an excellent job because the expectations are so low. No one ever tells crackpots that they should be doing more.
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As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.
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Priority-wise, it simply makes sense to take care of yourself before you start searching for a higher meaning. You aren't much good to anyone else if you're unhealthy, a financial burden, or an emotional basket case. Fix yourself before you turn outward. It's best for everyone.
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He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.
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Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching.
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Mockery is an important social tool for squelching stupidity. I’ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I’ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
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Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.
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Everything you learn becomes a shortcut for understanding something else.
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Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.
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Always Postpone Meetings with Time-wasting Morons
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Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
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There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.
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I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.
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The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.
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I believe in karma... that means i can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it.