Scott Adams Quotes
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Your inability to see other possibilities and your lack of vocabulary are your brain's limits, not the universe's.
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The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
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Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.
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Computers and rocket ships are examples of invention, not of understanding. ... All that is needed to build machines is the knowledge that when one thing happens, another thing happens as a result. It's an accumulation of simple patterns. A dog can learn patterns. There is no "why&rdqo"; in those examples. We don't understand why electricity travels. We don't know why light travels at a constant speed forever. All we can do is observe and record patterns.
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Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching.
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If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
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The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.
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If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
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Mockery is an important social tool for squelching stupidity. I’ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I’ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
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The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it.
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Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.
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Methods for predicting the future: 1) read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls . . . collectively known as "nutty methods;" 2) put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer . . . commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time."
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Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
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Crackpot is an excellent job because the expectations are so low. No one ever tells crackpots that they should be doing more.
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Always Postpone Meetings with Time-wasting Morons
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Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there
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Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality ?
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My investments have been hurt.
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out.
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I get mail; therefore I am.
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Dogbert gazing at night sky No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there. Dilbert Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth. DogbertThank you for shattering my comfortable misconception. DilbertIt's the miracle of science.
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Our perceptions of truth are built around what is practical, not what is true. Even the smartest human brain doesn't have the capacity for discerning true facts. That's why so many of us settle for scientific facts. It's the best we can do.
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What does it mean to be yourself?” he asked. “If it means to do what you think you ought to do, then you’re doing that already. If it means to act like you’re exempt from society’s influence, that’s the worst advice in the world; you would probably stop bathing and wearing clothes. The advice to ‘be yourself’ is obviously nonsense. But our brains accept this tripe as wisdom because it is more comfortable to believe we have a strategy for life than to believe we have no idea how to behave.
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For our purposes, let’s say a goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don’t sometime in the future. A system is something you do on a regular basis that increases your odds of happiness in the long run. If you do something every day, it’s a system. If you’re waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it’s a goal.