Scott Adams Quotes
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He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.
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Methods for predicting the future: 1) read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls . . . collectively known as "nutty methods;" 2) put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer . . . commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time."
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I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don't.
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Your inability to see other possibilities and your lack of vocabulary are your brain's limits, not the universe's.
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Priority-wise, it simply makes sense to take care of yourself before you start searching for a higher meaning. You aren't much good to anyone else if you're unhealthy, a financial burden, or an emotional basket case. Fix yourself before you turn outward. It's best for everyone.
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Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching.
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Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.
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We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
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Always Postpone Meetings with Time-wasting Morons
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Home is pretty utopian.
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'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.
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Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
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We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.
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My investments have been hurt.
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Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity - except in politics where it's called leadership.
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The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.
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I'm primarily just an investor.
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Mockery is an important social tool for squelching stupidity. I’ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I’ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
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If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
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Science is a good thing. News reporters are good things too. But it's never a good idea to put them in the same room.
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Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.
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I believe in karma... that means i can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it.
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There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.