Scott Adams Quotes
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I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
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When did ignorance become a point of view?
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I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.
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In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.
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Technology will definitely solve all our problems, but in the process it will create brand new ones. But that's O.K. because the most you can expect from life is to get to solve better and better problems.
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Computers and rocket ships are examples of invention, not of understanding. ... All that is needed to build machines is the knowledge that when one thing happens, another thing happens as a result. It's an accumulation of simple patterns. A dog can learn patterns. There is no "why&rdqo"; in those examples. We don't understand why electricity travels. We don't know why light travels at a constant speed forever. All we can do is observe and record patterns.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.
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Simple molecules combine to make powerful chemicals. Simple cells combine to make powerful life-forms. Simple electronics combine to make powerful computers. Logically, all things are created by a combination of simpler, less capable components. Therefore, a supreme being must be in our future, not our origin. What if "God" is the consciousness that will be created when enough of us are connected by the Internet?!!
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I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change.
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There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.
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Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.
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Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same.
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If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
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The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
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The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it.
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It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.
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If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
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Everything you learn becomes a shortcut for understanding something else.
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I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.
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For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.
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Crackpot is an excellent job because the expectations are so low. No one ever tells crackpots that they should be doing more.
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As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.
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Good advertising can make people buy your product even if it sucks ... A dollar spent on brainwashing is more cost-effective than a dollar spent on product improvement.