Scott Adams Quotes
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.
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When did ignorance become a point of view?
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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Good advertising can make people buy your product even if it sucks ... A dollar spent on brainwashing is more cost-effective than a dollar spent on product improvement.
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I get mail; therefore I am.
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Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.
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We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
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Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf. Dilbert: How can they tell it's the golf gene? Dogbert: It's plaid and it lies.
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I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change.
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If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
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If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
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If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it.
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I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don't.
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Simple molecules combine to make powerful chemicals. Simple cells combine to make powerful life-forms. Simple electronics combine to make powerful computers. Logically, all things are created by a combination of simpler, less capable components. Therefore, a supreme being must be in our future, not our origin. What if "God" is the consciousness that will be created when enough of us are connected by the Internet?!!
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As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.
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I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.
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The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
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It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.
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He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.
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The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it.
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For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.
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Science is a good thing. News reporters are good things too. But it's never a good idea to put them in the same room.
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Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes... no, wait.
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Home is pretty utopian.