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If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
Scott Adams -
You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.
Scott Adams
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And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.
Scott Adams -
Everything you learn becomes a shortcut for understanding something else.
Scott Adams -
I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
Scott Adams -
Home is pretty utopian.
Scott Adams -
I'm primarily just an investor.
Scott Adams -
Good advertising can make people buy your product even if it sucks ... A dollar spent on brainwashing is more cost-effective than a dollar spent on product improvement.
Scott Adams
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When did ignorance become a point of view?
Scott Adams -
Simple molecules combine to make powerful chemicals. Simple cells combine to make powerful life-forms. Simple electronics combine to make powerful computers. Logically, all things are created by a combination of simpler, less capable components. Therefore, a supreme being must be in our future, not our origin. What if "God" is the consciousness that will be created when enough of us are connected by the Internet?!!
Scott Adams -
Dilbert: You joined the "Flat Earth Society?" Dogbert: I believe the earth must be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called "round earth theory." Dilbert: I think Christopher Columbus would disagree. Dogbert: How convenient that your best witness is dead.
Scott Adams -
I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change.
Scott Adams -
Mockery is an important social tool for squelching stupidity. I’ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I’ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
Scott Adams -
I think the pleasure of completed work is what makes blogging so popular. You have to believe most bloggers have few if any actual readers. The writers are in it for other reasons. Blogging is like work, but without coworkers thwarting you at every turn. All you get is the pleasure of a completed task.
Scott Adams
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The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.
Scott Adams -
Crackpot is an excellent job because the expectations are so low. No one ever tells crackpots that they should be doing more.
Scott Adams -
Always Postpone Meetings with Time-wasting Morons
Scott Adams -
He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.
Scott Adams -
There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.
Scott Adams -
Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.
Scott Adams
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The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it.
Scott Adams -
Computers and rocket ships are examples of invention, not of understanding. ... All that is needed to build machines is the knowledge that when one thing happens, another thing happens as a result. It's an accumulation of simple patterns. A dog can learn patterns. There is no "why&rdqo"; in those examples. We don't understand why electricity travels. We don't know why light travels at a constant speed forever. All we can do is observe and record patterns.
Scott Adams -
If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
Scott Adams -
Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf. Dilbert: How can they tell it's the golf gene? Dogbert: It's plaid and it lies.
Scott Adams