Scott Adams Quotes
-
I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.
-
If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
-
I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
-
The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
-
I rank money higher than social life or meaning because once you have money, those other things are easier to get. For example, you won't have much of a social life if you can't afford to do anything. And you can't make money if your health is a mess.
-
If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
-
Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf. Dilbert: How can they tell it's the golf gene? Dogbert: It's plaid and it lies.
-
When did ignorance become a point of view?
-
It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.
-
We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
-
Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes... no, wait.
-
People are idiots. Including me. Everyone is an idiot, not just the people with the low SAT scores. The only difference is that we're idiots about different things at different times. No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.
-
Dilbert: You joined the "Flat Earth Society?" Dogbert: I believe the earth must be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called "round earth theory." Dilbert: I think Christopher Columbus would disagree. Dogbert: How convenient that your best witness is dead.
-
Methods for predicting the future: 1) read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls . . . collectively known as "nutty methods;" 2) put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer . . . commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time."
-
In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.
-
Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.
-
Computers and rocket ships are examples of invention, not of understanding. ... All that is needed to build machines is the knowledge that when one thing happens, another thing happens as a result. It's an accumulation of simple patterns. A dog can learn patterns. There is no "why&rdqo"; in those examples. We don't understand why electricity travels. We don't know why light travels at a constant speed forever. All we can do is observe and record patterns.
-
The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it.
-
There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.
-
Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.
-
I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don't.
-
I'm primarily just an investor.
-
For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.
-
'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.