Scott Adams Quotes
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Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes... no, wait.
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For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson.
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I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff.
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I rank money higher than social life or meaning because once you have money, those other things are easier to get. For example, you won't have much of a social life if you can't afford to do anything. And you can't make money if your health is a mess.
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As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don't.
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I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.
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If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
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Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.
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Everything you learn becomes a shortcut for understanding something else.
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Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
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I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
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He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.
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Your inability to see other possibilities and your lack of vocabulary are your brain's limits, not the universe's.
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For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.
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Science is a good thing. News reporters are good things too. But it's never a good idea to put them in the same room.
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You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.
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Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.
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Home is pretty utopian.
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When did ignorance become a point of view?
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The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
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Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching.
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It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.