Scott Adams Quotes
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Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes... no, wait.
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You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.
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Good advertising can make people buy your product even if it sucks ... A dollar spent on brainwashing is more cost-effective than a dollar spent on product improvement.
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Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same.
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Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching.
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Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.
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Everything you learn becomes a shortcut for understanding something else.
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The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
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He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.
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I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.
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Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
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I'm primarily just an investor.
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If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
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I think you should live your life so that the maximum number of people will attend your funeral.
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Mockery is an important social tool for squelching stupidity. I’ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I’ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
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Computers and rocket ships are examples of invention, not of understanding. ... All that is needed to build machines is the knowledge that when one thing happens, another thing happens as a result. It's an accumulation of simple patterns. A dog can learn patterns. There is no "why&rdqo"; in those examples. We don't understand why electricity travels. We don't know why light travels at a constant speed forever. All we can do is observe and record patterns.
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It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.
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I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
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Your inability to see other possibilities and your lack of vocabulary are your brain's limits, not the universe's.
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I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change.
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Dilbert: You joined the "Flat Earth Society?" Dogbert: I believe the earth must be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called "round earth theory." Dilbert: I think Christopher Columbus would disagree. Dogbert: How convenient that your best witness is dead.
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Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf. Dilbert: How can they tell it's the golf gene? Dogbert: It's plaid and it lies.
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When did ignorance become a point of view?
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Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.