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Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.
Scott Adams -
Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.
Scott Adams
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Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.
Scott Adams -
Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. TV remote control Click.
Scott Adams -
If you're following the news, you know that the major religions differ in their interpretation of the holy books. For example, one way to interpret God's will is that you should love your neighbor. An alternate reading of the holy books might lead you to rig a donkey cart with small mortar rockets and aim it at a hotel full of infidels. In summary, po-tay-to, poh-tah-to. Religions are very flexible.
Scott Adams -
One of the reasons why you like to do your own drawings is, your style changes over time. And there's something about that that keeps it fresh to the viewer.
Scott Adams -
There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of fonts and color.
Scott Adams -
The ability to work hard and make sacrifices comes naturally to those who know exactly what they want.
Scott Adams
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Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.
Scott Adams -
If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it.
Scott Adams -
One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.
Scott Adams -
The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
Scott Adams -
The main difference between marketing and fraud is that criminals have to pay for their own alcohol.
Scott Adams -
I rank money higher than social life or meaning because once you have money, those other things are easier to get. For example, you won't have much of a social life if you can't afford to do anything. And you can't make money if your health is a mess.
Scott Adams
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God designs people's emotions so you fall in love with people who, in return, wouldn't even use your hollowed – out skull for a spittoon.
Scott Adams -
The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day. This is why people of different religions can generally live in peace. At some level, we all suspect that other people don't believe their own religion any more than we believe ours.
Scott Adams -
He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.
Scott Adams -
You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.
Scott Adams -
The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.
Scott Adams -
The best plan now is to have as many bosses as possible. I call it boss diversity. If you work for a company and you have one boss and that boss doesn't like you or wants to get rid of you, you're in trouble. But if you work for yourself, you have lots of bosses, who are your customers, and if a few of them decide they don't like you, that's okay.
Scott Adams
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Writers tend to work early in the morning, or late at night, when brains are naturally able to focus deeply on one thought. In the middle of the day, distractions are unavoidable. I wonder if anything worthwhile has ever been written in the afternoon.
Scott Adams -
I discovered what I call the Bill Gates effect. That is, the more successful you are, the uglier you get.
Scott Adams -
If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
Scott Adams -
When times are bad, the gloves come off and employers are less nice. People become disposable.
Scott Adams