Scott Adams Quotes
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We expect others to act rationally even though we are irrational.
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A person with a flexible schedule and average resources will be happier than a rich person who has everything except a flexible schedule. Step one in your search for happiness is to continually work toward having control of your schedule.
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In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.
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Moslem: people who believe suicide is a good way to get laid.
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The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.
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Dinosaur: I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye. Catbert: That's not a natural advantage. You'd better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs.
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The only risk of failure is promotion.
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You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
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The ability to work hard and make sacrifices comes naturally to those who know exactly what they want.
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If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
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Highly intelligent and well-informed people disagree on every political issue. Therefore, intelligence and knowledge are useless for making decisions, because if any of that stuff helped, then all the smart people would have the same opinions. So use your "gut instinct" to make voting choices. That is exactly like being clueless, but with the added advantage that you'll feel as if your random vote preserved democracy.
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I get mail; therefore I am.
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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out.
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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The main difference between marketing and fraud is that criminals have to pay for their own alcohol.
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Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.
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He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.
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I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff.
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Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.
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For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.
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Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there
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If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.
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Frankly, I’m suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue.