Scott Adams Quotes
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I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.
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The best plan now is to have as many bosses as possible. I call it boss diversity. If you work for a company and you have one boss and that boss doesn't like you or wants to get rid of you, you're in trouble. But if you work for yourself, you have lots of bosses, who are your customers, and if a few of them decide they don't like you, that's okay.
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I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.
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To err is human. To cover it up is weasel.
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The ability to work hard and make sacrifices comes naturally to those who know exactly what they want.
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I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun.
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Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.
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I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.
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Frankly, I’m suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.
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Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.
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I try to avoid giving advice.
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One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.
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Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.
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Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.
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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of fonts and color.
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What does it mean to be yourself?” he asked. “If it means to do what you think you ought to do, then you’re doing that already. If it means to act like you’re exempt from society’s influence, that’s the worst advice in the world; you would probably stop bathing and wearing clothes. The advice to ‘be yourself’ is obviously nonsense. But our brains accept this tripe as wisdom because it is more comfortable to believe we have a strategy for life than to believe we have no idea how to behave.
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I used to be stupid but I've turned that situation around 360 degrees.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.
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You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
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A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer.