Scott Adams Quotes
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The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.
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I try to avoid giving advice.
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The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.
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Highly intelligent and well-informed people disagree on every political issue. Therefore, intelligence and knowledge are useless for making decisions, because if any of that stuff helped, then all the smart people would have the same opinions. So use your "gut instinct" to make voting choices. That is exactly like being clueless, but with the added advantage that you'll feel as if your random vote preserved democracy.
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The children are our future. And that is why, ultimately, we're screwed unless we do something about it. If you haven't noticed, the children who are our future are good-looking, but they aren't all that bright. As dense as they might be, they will eventually notice that adults have spent all the money, spread disease, and turned the planet into a smoky, filthy ball of death. We're raising an entire generation of dumb, pissed-off kids who know where the handguns are kept. This is not a good recipe for a happy future.
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The ability to work hard and make sacrifices comes naturally to those who know exactly what they want.
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.
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The only risk of failure is promotion.
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If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
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You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
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I get mail; therefore I am.
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The main difference between marketing and fraud is that criminals have to pay for their own alcohol.
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I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff.
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For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.
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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.
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He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.
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Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.
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Frankly, I’m suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue.
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In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out.
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One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.
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Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there