Scott Adams Quotes
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Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line' through no fault of their own.
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A person with a flexible schedule and average resources will be happier than a rich person who has everything except a flexible schedule. Step one in your search for happiness is to continually work toward having control of your schedule.
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The marketing department uses many advanced techniques to match products and buyers in a way that mximizes profits. For example, they give away keychains.
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The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.
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He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.
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To err is human. To cover it up is weasel.
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Great minds don't think alike. If they did, the Patent Office would only have about fifty inventions.
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Everyone, including skeptics, will generate delusions that match their views. That is how a normal and healthy brain works. Skeptics are not exempt from self-delusion.
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God designs people's emotions so you fall in love with people who, in return, wouldn't even use your hollowed – out skull for a spittoon.
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Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games.
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The ability to work hard and make sacrifices comes naturally to those who know exactly what they want.
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The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
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In yesterday's post, I asked how many of you guys would have sex with a robot if it was indistinguishable from a hot human woman. About 95% of the hetero guys said they would. The other 5% expressed a strong preference for lying.
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Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.
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I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.
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The children are our future. And that is why, ultimately, we're screwed unless we do something about it. If you haven't noticed, the children who are our future are good-looking, but they aren't all that bright. As dense as they might be, they will eventually notice that adults have spent all the money, spread disease, and turned the planet into a smoky, filthy ball of death. We're raising an entire generation of dumb, pissed-off kids who know where the handguns are kept. This is not a good recipe for a happy future.
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One of the reasons why you like to do your own drawings is, your style changes over time. And there's something about that that keeps it fresh to the viewer.
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You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
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I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.
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The core belief that drives terrorism is the notion of a "holy place," along with the idea that some people belong there and other people don't. That's why the only solution to terrorism is for religious scholars to hold a global summit to agree on the definition of "holy place." Once they agree on a definition, it will be easier to mock it into submission.
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Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.
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As you know, the best way to solve a problem is to identify the core belief that causes the problem; then mock that belief until the people who hold it insist that you heard them wrong.
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In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It’s called Karoshi. I don’t want that to happen to anybody in my department. The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon.
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Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.