Scott Adams Quotes
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You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
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Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently.
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The marketing department uses many advanced techniques to match products and buyers in a way that mximizes profits. For example, they give away keychains.
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If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
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Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.
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A person with a flexible schedule and average resources will be happier than a rich person who has everything except a flexible schedule. Step one in your search for happiness is to continually work toward having control of your schedule.
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Some physicists describe gravity in terms of ten dimensions all curled up. But those aren't real words-just placeholders, used to refer to parts of abstract equations.
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Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.
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The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
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Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it.
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Highly intelligent and well-informed people disagree on every political issue. Therefore, intelligence and knowledge are useless for making decisions, because if any of that stuff helped, then all the smart people would have the same opinions. So use your "gut instinct" to make voting choices. That is exactly like being clueless, but with the added advantage that you'll feel as if your random vote preserved democracy.
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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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Why aren't you signed up for the 401K? I'd never be able to run that far.
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Frankly, I’m suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue.
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One of the reasons why you like to do your own drawings is, your style changes over time. And there's something about that that keeps it fresh to the viewer.
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I try to avoid giving advice.
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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Moslem: people who believe suicide is a good way to get laid.
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Ideas are worthless. Execution is everything.
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The main difference between marketing and fraud is that criminals have to pay for their own alcohol.
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When times are bad, the gloves come off and employers are less nice. People become disposable.
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He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.
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The best plan now is to have as many bosses as possible. I call it boss diversity. If you work for a company and you have one boss and that boss doesn't like you or wants to get rid of you, you're in trouble. But if you work for yourself, you have lots of bosses, who are your customers, and if a few of them decide they don't like you, that's okay.
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A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer.