Scott Adams Quotes
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The best plan now is to have as many bosses as possible. I call it boss diversity. If you work for a company and you have one boss and that boss doesn't like you or wants to get rid of you, you're in trouble. But if you work for yourself, you have lots of bosses, who are your customers, and if a few of them decide they don't like you, that's okay.
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To err is human. To cover it up is weasel.
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For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.
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Highly intelligent and well-informed people disagree on every political issue. Therefore, intelligence and knowledge are useless for making decisions, because if any of that stuff helped, then all the smart people would have the same opinions. So use your "gut instinct" to make voting choices. That is exactly like being clueless, but with the added advantage that you'll feel as if your random vote preserved democracy.
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I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun.
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Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.
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One of the great things about being ignorant is that I often think my ideas are original. It's a wonderful feeling. That's why I try to avoid any knowledge that would spoil the sensation. Sometimes it isn't easy. People keep hurling knowledge at me, and I can't always duck.
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Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it.
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The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy. - Wally's Keynote Speech
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If I had to pick one quality that best predicts success (other than wanting to be successful) it would be the willingness to risk embarrassment.
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You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.
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I burned out my drawing hand by using it too much. The common word for it is writer's cramp. The fancy words for it are focal dystonia. The symptom in my case was a pinky finger that went spastic when I tried to draw.
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The marketing department uses many advanced techniques to match products and buyers in a way that mximizes profits. For example, they give away keychains.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
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There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of fonts and color.
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If you work in the city long enough, it begins to deal with you on a personal level. Streets reveal their moods. Sometimes the signal light loves you. Sometimes they fight you. When you're hunting for a new building, you hope the city is on your side. You have to use a little bit of thinking--you might call it the process of elimination--and you need a little bit of instinct, but not too much of either. If you think too hard, you overshoot your target and end up at the Pier or the Tenderloin. If you relax and let the city help, the destination does all the work for you.
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The only risk of failure is promotion.
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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.
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Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games.
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.
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If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?