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Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently.
Scott Adams -
Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.
Scott Adams
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The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to trurh.
Scott Adams -
The world isn't fair, but as long as it's tilting in my direction, I find that there's a natural cap to my righteous indignation.
Scott Adams -
If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.
Scott Adams -
One Dilbert Blog reader noted that current research shows that happiness causes success more than success causes happiness. That makes sense to me. There's plenty of research about people having a baseline of happiness that doesn't vary much with circumstances. And given that happy people are typically optimistic, energetic, and fun to work with, I can see how happiness would lead to success.
Scott Adams -
Why aren't you signed up for the 401K? I'd never be able to run that far.
Scott Adams -
The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.
Scott Adams
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Highly intelligent and well-informed people disagree on every political issue. Therefore, intelligence and knowledge are useless for making decisions, because if any of that stuff helped, then all the smart people would have the same opinions. So use your "gut instinct" to make voting choices. That is exactly like being clueless, but with the added advantage that you'll feel as if your random vote preserved democracy.
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There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.
Scott Adams -
A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
Scott Adams -
We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
Scott Adams -
The surest way to identify those who won't succeed at weight loss is that they tend to say things like "My goal is to lose ten pounds." Weight targets often work in the short run. But if you need willpower to keep the weight off, you're doomed in the long run. The only way to succeed in the long run is by using a system that bypasses your need for willpower.
Scott Adams -
The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.
Scott Adams
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Moslem: people who believe suicide is a good way to get laid.
Scott Adams -
Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.
Scott Adams -
In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.
Scott Adams -
Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.
Scott Adams -
Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
Scott Adams -
Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.
Scott Adams
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Ideas are worthless. Execution is everything.
Scott Adams -
Everyone says there's a lack of leadership in the world these days. I think we should all be thankful, because the only reason for leadership is to convince people to do things that are either dangerous (like invading another country) or stupid (working extra hard without extra pay).
Scott Adams -
A person with a flexible schedule and average resources will be happier than a rich person who has everything except a flexible schedule. Step one in your search for happiness is to continually work toward having control of your schedule.
Scott Adams -
If you're following the news, you know that the major religions differ in their interpretation of the holy books. For example, one way to interpret God's will is that you should love your neighbor. An alternate reading of the holy books might lead you to rig a donkey cart with small mortar rockets and aim it at a hotel full of infidels. In summary, po-tay-to, poh-tah-to. Religions are very flexible.
Scott Adams