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It's hard to argue with the government. Remember, they are they run the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, so they must know a thing or two about satisfying women.
Scott Adams -
Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.
Scott Adams
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If free will exists, why do the tallest candidates with the best hair usually win elections ?
Scott Adams -
Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.
Scott Adams -
Stem cells are like toenail clippings with a better career plan.
Scott Adams -
Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a "Big Bang" at all-it was more of "Phhbwt" sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the "Little Phhbwt" theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.
Scott Adams -
Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night.
Scott Adams -
By definition, risk-takers often fail. So do morons. In practice it's difficult to sort them out.
Scott Adams
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I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you women. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.
Scott Adams -
E-books are impervious to analogy.
Scott Adams -
There are always deadlines I have to meet. I don't let myself get too close to the deadlines, so it's not like I'm just sweating bullets or anything if the clock is ticking. I never let myself get in that situation.
Scott Adams -
When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.
Scott Adams -
Large corporations welcome innovation and individualism in the same way the dinosaurs welcomed large meteors.
Scott Adams -
Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.
Scott Adams
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Beware the advice of successful people; they do not seek company.
Scott Adams -
The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want.
Scott Adams -
No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.
Scott Adams -
There's a gigantic gray area between good moral behavior and outright felonious activities. I call that the Weasel Zone and it's where most of life happens.
Scott Adams -
The job isn't done until you've blamed someone for the parts that went wrong.
Scott Adams -
Beware of those who try to sell you simple answers to complex questions.
Scott Adams
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I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist , but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life.
Scott Adams -
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
Scott Adams -
On the fourth day of telecommuting, I realized that clothes are totally unnecessary.
Scott Adams -
Great minds don't think alike. If they did, the Patent Office would only have about fifty inventions.
Scott Adams