Scott Adams Quotes
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There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
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Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
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Remember, freedom is always taken, never given.
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The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find someone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It is futile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someone who is capable of significant change; that sort of person exists only in our imaginations.
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If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.
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The best things in life are silly.
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When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
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I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.
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There's a fine line between participation and mockery.
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You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
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Never base your budget requests on realistic assumptions, as this could lead to a decrease in your funding.
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I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles.
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The day you realize that your efforts and rewards are not related, it really frees up your calendar.
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As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws.
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The longer you verk here, diverse it gets.
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I love you like a fat kid loves cake!
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As a rule, I don't like to laugh at the misfortune of others. The exception to that rule is if it's really, really funny.
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It's hard to argue with the government. Remember, they are they run the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, so they must know a thing or two about satisfying women.
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Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.
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If free will exists, why do the tallest candidates with the best hair usually win elections ?
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Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night.
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E-books are impervious to analogy.
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Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a "Big Bang" at all-it was more of "Phhbwt" sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the "Little Phhbwt" theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.
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Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.