Scott Adams Quotes
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There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
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Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
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Remember, freedom is always taken, never given.
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The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find someone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It is futile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someone who is capable of significant change; that sort of person exists only in our imaginations.
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The best things in life are silly.
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If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.
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When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
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I love you like a fat kid loves cake!
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The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.
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I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.
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The longer you verk here, diverse it gets.
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Management is nature's way of removing idiots from the productive flow.
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There's a fine line between participation and mockery.
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My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.
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You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
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The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th.
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Intelligence is a measure of how well you function within your level of awareness.
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Never base your budget requests on realistic assumptions, as this could lead to a decrease in your funding.
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The day you realize that your efforts and rewards are not related, it really frees up your calendar.
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Some people fear that technology will become more engaging than live human interactions. That's silly; technology is already way more interesting than other people.
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Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Dogbert: But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called time and cause and effect exist. Dilbert: That's what I was taught and that's what I believe. Dogbert: Sounds cultish.
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As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws.
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Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.
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If free will exists, why do the tallest candidates with the best hair usually win elections ?