Scott Adams Quotes
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There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
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Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
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Remember, freedom is always taken, never given.
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The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find someone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It is futile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someone who is capable of significant change; that sort of person exists only in our imaginations.
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If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.
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The best things in life are silly.
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When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
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The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.
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I love you like a fat kid loves cake!
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Management is nature's way of removing idiots from the productive flow.
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I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.
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There's a fine line between participation and mockery.
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Intelligence is a measure of how well you function within your level of awareness.
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The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th.
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The longer you verk here, diverse it gets.
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My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.
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You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
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The day you realize that your efforts and rewards are not related, it really frees up your calendar.
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Never base your budget requests on realistic assumptions, as this could lead to a decrease in your funding.
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Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Dogbert: But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called time and cause and effect exist. Dilbert: That's what I was taught and that's what I believe. Dogbert: Sounds cultish.
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If free will exists, why do the tallest candidates with the best hair usually win elections ?
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I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles.
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As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws.
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It's hard to argue with the government. Remember, they are they run the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, so they must know a thing or two about satisfying women.