Scott Adams Quotes
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The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to trurh.
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In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants.
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One Dilbert Blog reader noted that current research shows that happiness causes success more than success causes happiness. That makes sense to me. There's plenty of research about people having a baseline of happiness that doesn't vary much with circumstances. And given that happy people are typically optimistic, energetic, and fun to work with, I can see how happiness would lead to success.
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The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.
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Everybody is somebody's else's weirdo
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Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently.
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On the fourth day of telecommuting, I realized that clothes are totally unnecessary.
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When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.
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Technology: No Place for Wimps!
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Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.
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The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy. - Wally's Keynote Speech
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Ideas are worthless. Execution is everything.
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Lately, the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labor.
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As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.
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You probably think Stephen Hawking is in that wheelchair because of a motor neuron disease. But if you got as much barely-legal student poontang as The Hawkster, you'd be in a wheelchair too.
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We expect others to act rationally even though we are irrational.
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Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.
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Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. TV remote control Click.
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On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
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As you know, the best way to solve a problem is to identify the core belief that causes the problem; then mock that belief until the people who hold it insist that you heard them wrong.
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In the future, it will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are.
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He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.
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Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line' through no fault of their own.
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If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.