Scott Adams Quotes
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When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.
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The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.
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Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it.
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I get mail; therefore I am.
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Ideas are worthless. Execution is everything.
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In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants.
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Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
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Lately, the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labor.
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Swing your partner, dosey-do, now clap your hands... uh-oh, that's all the square dance moves I know... I'll bluff the rest. Slap your partner in the face, Write bad checks all over the place, Flirt with strangers, annoy your spouse, Get a divorce and lose your house, ...uh... dosey-do.
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The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to trurh.
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The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.
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You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.
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Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.
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Technology: No Place for Wimps!
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Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently.
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The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
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The children are our future. And that is why, ultimately, we're screwed unless we do something about it. If you haven't noticed, the children who are our future are good-looking, but they aren't all that bright. As dense as they might be, they will eventually notice that adults have spent all the money, spread disease, and turned the planet into a smoky, filthy ball of death. We're raising an entire generation of dumb, pissed-off kids who know where the handguns are kept. This is not a good recipe for a happy future.
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Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games.
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As you know, the best way to solve a problem is to identify the core belief that causes the problem; then mock that belief until the people who hold it insist that you heard them wrong.
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Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. TV remote control Click.
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We expect others to act rationally even though we are irrational.
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On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
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When times are bad, the gloves come off and employers are less nice. People become disposable.
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The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.