Scott Adams Quotes
-
Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently.
-
Ideas are cheap. A dime a dozen, as they say. It's the implementation that's important! The trick isn't just to have a computer game idea, but to actually create it!
-
The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.
-
The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to trurh.
-
The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy. - Wally's Keynote Speech
-
Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
-
Moslem: people who believe suicide is a good way to get laid.
-
Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.
-
Technology: No Place for Wimps!
-
When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.
-
In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.
-
As you know, the best way to solve a problem is to identify the core belief that causes the problem; then mock that belief until the people who hold it insist that you heard them wrong.
-
The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.
-
Lately, the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labor.
-
One Dilbert Blog reader noted that current research shows that happiness causes success more than success causes happiness. That makes sense to me. There's plenty of research about people having a baseline of happiness that doesn't vary much with circumstances. And given that happy people are typically optimistic, energetic, and fun to work with, I can see how happiness would lead to success.
-
Ideas are worthless. Execution is everything.
-
You probably think Stephen Hawking is in that wheelchair because of a motor neuron disease. But if you got as much barely-legal student poontang as The Hawkster, you'd be in a wheelchair too.
-
When times are bad, the gloves come off and employers are less nice. People become disposable.
-
On the fourth day of telecommuting, I realized that clothes are totally unnecessary.
-
Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. TV remote control Click.
-
For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.
-
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
-
He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.
-
The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.