Scott Adams Quotes
-
Scientists often invent words to fill the holes in their understanding.These words are meant as conveniences until real understanding can be found. ... Words such as dimension and field and infinity ... are not descriptions of reality, yet we accept them as such because everyone is sure someone else knows what the words mean.
-
Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
-
Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.
-
I can't bring myself to believe in a God with a personality like my own. I base that on the paucity of lightning attacks on people who deserve it.
-
Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
-
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
-
I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
-
I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable.
-
There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.
-
I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
-
He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
-
I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.
-
If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.
-
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
-
If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.
-
I should have written that down. - Dilbert
-
I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
-
The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up.
-
Failure is a resource that can be managed.
-
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.