Scott Adams Quotes
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Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
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Our perceptions of truth are built around what is practical, not what is true. Even the smartest human brain doesn't have the capacity for discerning true facts. That's why so many of us settle for scientific facts. It's the best we can do.
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Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
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Good ideas have no value because the world already has too many of them. The market rewards execution, not ideas.
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Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.
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Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
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He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
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I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
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I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable.
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up.
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I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
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There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.
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I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.
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If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.
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I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
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If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.
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Failure is a resource that can be managed.
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You can change only what people know, not what they do.