Scott Adams Quotes
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Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.
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This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.
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Good ideas have no value because the world already has too many of them. The market rewards execution, not ideas.
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There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.
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Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
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I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
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If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.
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I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
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I would sometimes sit in a crowded restaurant, and say, 'You know, I'm the only person in this restaurant who can't draw.'
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Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
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I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable.
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Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
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The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up.
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I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
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I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.
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Failure is a resource that can be managed.
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If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.
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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.