Scott Adams Quotes
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This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.
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'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.
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Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.
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There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.
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Good ideas have no value because the world already has too many of them. The market rewards execution, not ideas.
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If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.
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I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable.
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I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
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I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
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Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
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I would sometimes sit in a crowded restaurant, and say, 'You know, I'm the only person in this restaurant who can't draw.'
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Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
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I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.
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I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
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The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up.
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Failure is a resource that can be managed.
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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
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If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.