Scott Adams Quotes
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If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.
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If you’re going to create, create a lot. Creativity is not like playing the slot machines, where failure to win means you go home broke. With creativity, if you don’t win, you’re usually no worse off than if you hadn’t played.
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Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
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Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.
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If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.
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He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
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I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
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I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
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Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality ?
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I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
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There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.
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Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
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Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
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Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
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I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable.
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Failure is a resource that can be managed.
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You can change only what people know, not what they do.
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.
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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.