Scott Adams Quotes
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The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day
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Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.
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Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.
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He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
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There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
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Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
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Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
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I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable.
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I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
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If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.
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I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
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Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
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There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.
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I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.
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You can change only what people know, not what they do.
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If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.
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The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up.
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
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I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.