Scott Adams Quotes
-
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
-
This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.
-
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
-
I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
-
I can't bring myself to believe in a God with a personality like my own. I base that on the paucity of lightning attacks on people who deserve it.
-
Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
-
I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
-
He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
-
I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.
-
There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.
-
I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
-
If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.
-
I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable.
-
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
-
I should have written that down. - Dilbert
-
If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.
-
The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up.
-
I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
-
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
-
Failure is a resource that can be managed.