Scott Adams Quotes
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Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
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Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.
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I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
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I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
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There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.
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Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
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Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality ?
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He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
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Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
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I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
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I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable.
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If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.
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I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.
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Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
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If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.
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The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up.
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This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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Failure is a resource that can be managed.
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You can change only what people know, not what they do.