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I can't bring myself to believe in a God with a personality like my own. I base that on the paucity of lightning attacks on people who deserve it.
Scott Adams -
I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
Scott Adams
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Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.
Scott Adams -
Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
Scott Adams -
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
Scott Adams -
I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.
Scott Adams -
Our perceptions of truth are built around what is practical, not what is true. Even the smartest human brain doesn't have the capacity for discerning true facts. That's why so many of us settle for scientific facts. It's the best we can do.
Scott Adams -
If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.
Scott Adams
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Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality ?
Scott Adams -
I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
Scott Adams -
You can change only what people know, not what they do.
Scott Adams -
I believe in karma... that means i can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it.
Scott Adams -
I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable.
Scott Adams -
Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
Scott Adams
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Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
Scott Adams -
I should have written that down. - Dilbert
Scott Adams -
If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.
Scott Adams -
Failure is a resource that can be managed.
Scott Adams -
This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.
Scott Adams -
The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up.
Scott Adams