Seth MacFarlane Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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It may sound funny, but it's true: I tried to put myself through the 12-step program. I didn't want to attend a real meeting; my role didn't really require that, and I feel those meetings are sort of sacred, and they're anonymous for a reason. I tried to deal with some of my love of snacks - and I relapsed a lot.
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Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
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This may sound funny, but I feel my most beautiful when I'm clean, fresh out of the bath. I don't have to be dressed up. I could be in comfy clothes at home hanging out with my family.
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Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate.
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I'm doin' something different. I mean, I talk a little bit about race and interracial dating, but it's not the heart of my act. I just try to do what I think is funny; there's no huge message or through line.
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I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
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The funny thing is that I'm the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who's traveled with me. Normally, I'm in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia!
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It's just funny that Americans have to contend with 2000 channels, and 60 different specific news sources, and the confusion that it creates, and the junk that we get to see is hilarious.
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But I've never looked at myself as being particularly funny.
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What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
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It's funny, my kids and I live together, and I have a lot of actor friends. So my kids think everyone is on television every now and again, since everyone they know pops up here, but there's a whole rap of things they won't watch until they're 16 or 17.
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If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.
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If you think something's funny, go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty.
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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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In my film 'Queen', there was a funny moment with the bra. My director called and said they are blurring the bra. They said it is vulgar. Our director was furious about it. We are artistes... We see props as they are. A woman's bra is not a danger to the society.
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We didn't even think about it, you know? I used to collect laser discs, and you'd have some college professor analyzing It's a Wonderful Life or Citizen Kane, and now it is pretty funny - the idea of commentary for a silly kid's movie, you know?
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He knew that women appreciated neither irony nor sarcasm, but simple jokes and funny stories. He was amply provided with both.
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He's probably the single most untalented person I've heard in my life. He's a two-bit pretentious academic, and he can't play rock'n'roll, because he's a loser. And that's why he dresses up funny. He's not happy with himself, and I think he's right.
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If a wig is funny when it's two feet tall, why not make it three feet tall? Or ten?
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People are overwhelmed looking up at the Mount Everest of environmental challenges that we face. But you put one foot in front of the other and you recognize that not everyone is Sir Edmund Hillary.
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The appearance of aged persons is too well known to make detailed description necessary. The skin of the face is dry and wrinkled and generally pale. The hairs on the head and the body are white. The back is bent, and the gait is slow and laborious, whilst the memory is weak. Such are the most familiar traits of old age.
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I have spent my career building and improving secure, trustworthy systems, and I am very proud to be working on security at Yahoo.
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Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see.
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Chris Elliott could read the phonebook and he's funny.
