Calvin Trillin Quotes
If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.
Quotes to Explore
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I get tired of comedies where there are a bunch of funny guys and a beautiful woman who doesn't do anything funny. And I don't like books where there's a rough-and-tumble boy and a really clever, snotty girl. That's just not my experience with teenagers.
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I really tend to write in retrospect.
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There's nothing more fun than making fun of what's sacred.
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Murderers, in general, are people who are consistent, people who are obsessed with one idea and nothing else.
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We have nothing to fear but fear itself... and, of course, the boogieman.
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Most things I get hired on, I get hired because I improvise something funny, or they just think I look weird.
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I have nothing revolutionary or even novel to offer.
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I like Brad Pitt; I just have nothing to do with him.
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There's nothing more American than movies.
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A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.
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I think there have always been funny women, from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience sees a woman, they innately know she's worked twice as hard to get there, she's had to prove that she can be the leader, first, and then be funny on top of it. She has to emit a confidence that she's in control.
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I did accents and funny voices for the family when I was growing up.
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I just write mechanical things.
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I think it would be funny for people to read in obituaries of me that my major contribution to the arts was the popularization of the phrases 'neutral facial expression' and 'screaming in agony.'
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You have to create something from nothing.
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Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
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We try to make the name longer and longer every year. First, it was 'Larry the Cable Guy's Christmas Spectacular.' Then it was 'It's a Very Larry Christmas.' Now it's 'Larry the Cable Guy's Hula-palooza Christmas Luau.' I'll tell you what it is: It's funny. That's what it is. Who cares what the name of it is? It is a funny special.
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People often write after they finish their career, or they don't play anymore, or they are not anymore active. So I say, why do that? And let's do it differently.
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If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
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I have close to 300 pairs of shoes. I'm fortunate enough to be in a position to get any shoes I want. So I have a pretty nice collection. It's pretty valuable. It's funny when sometimes I buy a pair of shoes and I look on eBay and it's already selling for $500. I just wanted to buy those shoes to wear them!
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I don't come from a family of slackers, but I do come from a family of doers.
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Wearing a hat implies that you are bald if you are a man and that your hair is dirty if you are a woman.
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I was clear that I wanted to do music and I wanted to write songs. But I wasn't clear about how I was going to make that happen. I wrote loads of songs but didn't want to show them to anyone.
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If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.
