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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'
Dane Cook -
I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance, so if the right script comes along, and I certainly am reading comedies and dramas now, then I'm ready willing and able to give it a shot.
Dane Cook
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I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
Dane Cook -
Anger has a way of seeping into every other emotion and planting itself in there.
Dane Cook -
We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits. loud cheer Yeah. You could be man of the year or woman of the universe. You're gonna be in your bathroom one day, goin' 'Aah! Ugh! Are there glass shards in my anus?! Aah!' Somewhere, Halle Berry is clutching her Oscar, goin' 'Aah! Aah! Why me? I'm an Oscar winner!'
Dane Cook -
I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.
Dane Cook -
'You told your mother I was gonna blow you up with a fucking pumpkin bomb? What did she say?' 'She. Was. Terrified. She wants me to move home.'
Dane Cook -
Here's the thing about Red Sox fans, or actually just fans from that region, in general: they appreciate the effort. And if you mail it in or if you give 80 percent, even with a win, they'll let you know that's not how you do it. They want - if it's comedian, if it's a musician, bring us your best show.
Dane Cook
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
Dane Cook -
When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
Dane Cook -
I do try to keep my show very improvisational. I don't work off a set list; I like to keep it more in the moment. I like to have information about where I'm going, what might be happening in that particular region as well. I like for people to feel like the show is for them.
Dane Cook -
I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
Dane Cook -
I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
Dane Cook -
I work with a lot of kids. Every year, for the past fifteen years, I work at Comedy Camp where I work with a lot of kids.
Dane Cook
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
Dane Cook -
I'm a late-night guy.
Dane Cook -
Time machine... wouldn't you like to travel through time? I would. I'd go back... mess with people. You know what I would do? I would go back to when my mom and dad were having sex, to have me. Ya'know, come in, spank my dad on the ass *smack* I'M YOUR SON FROM THE FUTURE!! AAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! *smack* I'M FROM THE FUTURE!! I'M YOUR SON!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Dane Cook -
I get so into the moment.
Dane Cook -
I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
Dane Cook -
In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.
Dane Cook
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I'm completely ecstatic when a woman has own back story and brings something to the table and has a real strong kind of independence.
Dane Cook -
Who doesn't like movies? Who has ever said, 'Hey, you wanna go see a movie?' 'Fuck that and fuck your movies! It’s ridiculous, the whole idea of it! It’s just wrong and fake and NO!'
Dane Cook -
I invite her back to my apartment, or as I call it, the 'Death Star.' I'm still working on it, it's not completely operational.
Dane Cook -
Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
Dane Cook