Norm MacDonald Quotes
I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

Quotes to Explore
-
I was born in the city's general hospital on November 15, 1930, and we lived at 31 Amherst Avenue in the western suburbs. It was a magical place. There were receptions at the French Club, race meetings at the Shanghai Racecourse, and various patriotic gatherings at the British Embassy on the Bund, the city's glamorous waterfront area.
-
I can't read novels while I'm writing a novel, because somebody's voice creeps in.
-
Evil is unspectacular and always human, and shares our bed and eats at our own table.
-
I'm a very proud actor.
-
I don't prepare myself for a specific fighter. I don't choose a fight to prepare myself for another fighter.
-
I told Mr. Nader today that a vote for Ralph Nader is really a vote for George Bush.
-
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
-
We are not educated well enough to perform the necessary act of intelligently selecting our leaders.
-
Sometimes it's hard to be a woman giving all your love to just one man.
-
Life is a gift, love opens it up.
-
It's just working people one by one, one at a time.
-
People talk about this Julia Roberts almost like it's a cup of Pepsi. People think Julia Roberts is something they created. The fact is, 26 years ago, there was this scrunched-up little pink baby named Julia Roberts. I am a girl, like anybody else.
-
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine.
-
There are no identical twins, or forgivable sins.
-
Instead, the two parties should be almost identical, so that the American people can throw the rascals out at any election without leading to any profound or extensive shifts in policy.
-
Life can be beautiful when you understand the inconvenience of being born.
-
My enduring feeling about René Lévesque is that if he had chosen to hang me, even as he tightened the rope round my neck, he would have complained about how humiliating it was for him to spring the trapdoor. And then, once I was swinging in the wind, he would blame my ghost for having obliged him to murder, thereby imposing a guilt trip on a sweet, self-effacing, downtrodden Francophone.
-
I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.