Norm MacDonald Quotes
I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
Quotes to Explore
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I was born in the city's general hospital on November 15, 1930, and we lived at 31 Amherst Avenue in the western suburbs. It was a magical place. There were receptions at the French Club, race meetings at the Shanghai Racecourse, and various patriotic gatherings at the British Embassy on the Bund, the city's glamorous waterfront area.
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I can't read novels while I'm writing a novel, because somebody's voice creeps in.
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Evil is unspectacular and always human, and shares our bed and eats at our own table.
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I'm a very proud actor.
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I don't prepare myself for a specific fighter. I don't choose a fight to prepare myself for another fighter.
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I told Mr. Nader today that a vote for Ralph Nader is really a vote for George Bush.
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I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
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We are not educated well enough to perform the necessary act of intelligently selecting our leaders.
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Sometimes it's hard to be a woman giving all your love to just one man.
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Life is a gift, love opens it up.
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It's just working people one by one, one at a time.
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People talk about this Julia Roberts almost like it's a cup of Pepsi. People think Julia Roberts is something they created. The fact is, 26 years ago, there was this scrunched-up little pink baby named Julia Roberts. I am a girl, like anybody else.
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To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine.
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An Englishman does not joke about such an important matter as a bet.
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It's almost a joke how good I am at charades. Not to pat my own back, but I'm literally - I'm kind of unstoppable.
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When I was a little kid, I was chunky. My mother would always joke she would have to get me husky jeans for larger kids. My wife reminds me sometimes, if I overdo it with chocolate chip cookies, that I will have to wear husky pants again.
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The soldier who gropes for glory must submit himself to discipline. Subordination gives strength and security to an army. He that will not submit to it when corrected and improved by the experience of ages does not deserve the proud appellation of a soldier.
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For, as I suppose, no man in this world hath lived better than I have done, to achieve that I have done.
