Norm MacDonald Quotes
I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

Quotes to Explore
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I was born in the city's general hospital on November 15, 1930, and we lived at 31 Amherst Avenue in the western suburbs. It was a magical place. There were receptions at the French Club, race meetings at the Shanghai Racecourse, and various patriotic gatherings at the British Embassy on the Bund, the city's glamorous waterfront area.
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I can't read novels while I'm writing a novel, because somebody's voice creeps in.
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Evil is unspectacular and always human, and shares our bed and eats at our own table.
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I'm a very proud actor.
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I don't prepare myself for a specific fighter. I don't choose a fight to prepare myself for another fighter.
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I told Mr. Nader today that a vote for Ralph Nader is really a vote for George Bush.
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I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
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We are not educated well enough to perform the necessary act of intelligently selecting our leaders.
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Sometimes it's hard to be a woman giving all your love to just one man.
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Life is a gift, love opens it up.
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It's just working people one by one, one at a time.
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People talk about this Julia Roberts almost like it's a cup of Pepsi. People think Julia Roberts is something they created. The fact is, 26 years ago, there was this scrunched-up little pink baby named Julia Roberts. I am a girl, like anybody else.
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To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine.
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I'm one of those guys like whatever the situation is, as long as people are cool and everybody is trying to be funny, I have a good time.
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Strict seriousness was far more dangerous than any joke.
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To one bent on age, death will come as a release. I feel this quite strongly now that I have grown old myself and have come to regard death like an old debt, at long last to be discharged.
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Bring me an axe and spade, Bring me a winding-sheet; When I my grave have made Let winds and tempests beat: Then down I'll lie as cold as clay. True love doth pass away!
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.