Norm MacDonald Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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We are cyborgs already. If you learn to read, it causes permanent changes to the structure of your brain for your entire life.
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I am a reluctant celebrity, in some ways.
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When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.
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What people can survive and what they don't survive is shocking to me. Someone can go to Iraq and be blown to bits and survive. Someone can trip and fall on the street and they die – that's that.
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The job of president is to motivate, to inspire, to be side by side with people making sure that they develop all their capacities and that I remove all the obstacles they have to grow by themselves.
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The hits I had in the '80s - I made those deals directly with American companies.
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I don't know if we are the best team in the world. I am lucky to be playing alongside some of the best players around. It's a dream.
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I have no mouth, and I must scream.
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The foreigners come out here always to teach, whereas they had much better learn, for, in everything but wits and knowledge, the Arab is generally the better man of the two.
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I don't think of myself as a movie star and I can pretty easily convince other people that I'm not a movie star.
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A manager gets in the Hall of Fame by what his players have done for him.
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I like hanging around the set and learning how people do things, how the set runs.
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I've always been a leader my whole life. I've always led. I didn't know how to do anything else.
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I'm a gun owner.
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The wonderful thing about writing for theatre is you can go anywhere you want with the language. There are no limits. With film, they frown on language - it's always 'Too many words.'
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I really think that as good of a job as you do as a writer, you're absolutely indebted to the actors that have to deliver that material.
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Japan is very cosmopolitan - it values its origins, but a world view hovers above this narrow perspective. The interest of the Japanese in their folk culture is transcendental.
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Money not spent on a luxury one considered even briefly is the equivalent of windfall income and should be spent accordingly.
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You have plausible deniability, as they say in politics, as an author with movies. Because if the movie is terrible, you simply say they failed to catch the genius of the book.
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Surfing is definitely something I used to do a lot more before I was working, but I know the waves will always be there, and it's something that, when I'm not traveling as much, I'll definitely get back into.
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I grew up with the Blind Boys' music. My family owns a music store in Claremont, California, called The Claremont Folk Music Center. I grew up with a heavy diet of gospel, folk, and blues because those are kind of the cornerstones of traditional American music.
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narrating 'Sex' by Madonna on tape: I like my vagina. Sometimes I stare at it in the mirror when I'm undressing, and wonder what it would look like without any hair.
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I am very lustful. I am in this fortunate or unfortunate position being bisexual in that I have twice as many people to lust over. So i can get hard on tour. I dont think lust is a sin - People should have sex as much and in as many situations as possible. Then theyd be less uptight.
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Note to self... Sex with blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.
