Norm MacDonald Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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I would be very happy doing movies. I love to work and I think I'm a little different.
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We are cyborgs already. If you learn to read, it causes permanent changes to the structure of your brain for your entire life.
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I am a reluctant celebrity, in some ways.
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When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.
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What people can survive and what they don't survive is shocking to me. Someone can go to Iraq and be blown to bits and survive. Someone can trip and fall on the street and they die – that's that.
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The job of president is to motivate, to inspire, to be side by side with people making sure that they develop all their capacities and that I remove all the obstacles they have to grow by themselves.
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The hits I had in the '80s - I made those deals directly with American companies.
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I don't know if we are the best team in the world. I am lucky to be playing alongside some of the best players around. It's a dream.
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I have no mouth, and I must scream.
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The foreigners come out here always to teach, whereas they had much better learn, for, in everything but wits and knowledge, the Arab is generally the better man of the two.
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I don't think of myself as a movie star and I can pretty easily convince other people that I'm not a movie star.
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A manager gets in the Hall of Fame by what his players have done for him.
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I like hanging around the set and learning how people do things, how the set runs.
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I've always been a leader my whole life. I've always led. I didn't know how to do anything else.
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Everybody's fast and strong, but to go out there and throw pass-rush moves or be able to do something different on the run to get them off balance. Anybody can run into somebody, but if you can shake them a little bit at the line, that's what's helped me out as a player.
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I'm a gun owner.
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The wonderful thing about writing for theatre is you can go anywhere you want with the language. There are no limits. With film, they frown on language - it's always 'Too many words.'
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I really think that as good of a job as you do as a writer, you're absolutely indebted to the actors that have to deliver that material.
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If science were communism, was it also not possible that communism could itself become a science?
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When we think of misdirection, we think of something as looking off to the side when, actually, the things right in front of us are often the hardest to see: the things that you look at every day that you're blinded to.
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The problems of this world are so gigantic that some are paralysed by their own uncertainty. Courage and wisdom are needed to reach out above this sense of helplessness. Desire for vengeance against deeds of hatred offers no solution. An eye for an eye makes the world blind. If we wish to choose the other path, we will have to search for ways to break the spiral of animosity. To fight evil one must also recognize one's own responsibility. The values for which we stand must be expressed in the way we think of, and how we deal with, our fellow humans.
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My mind ran over scenes of Shesheeb seducing Margaret until I was a wagon dragged by the runaway horses of my jealousy.
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I've heard people say to me, 'How can you claim to be a feminist when you dress like that?' I wear a lot of slip dresses and nightwear and stuff. People always question my credibility because of that: 'Oh, are you selling sex? Are you doing this or that to be recognized more or to sell your music?' No, it's just a fashion thing for me.
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Note to self... Sex with blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.
