Norm MacDonald Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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I would be very happy doing movies. I love to work and I think I'm a little different.
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We are cyborgs already. If you learn to read, it causes permanent changes to the structure of your brain for your entire life.
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I am a reluctant celebrity, in some ways.
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When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.
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What people can survive and what they don't survive is shocking to me. Someone can go to Iraq and be blown to bits and survive. Someone can trip and fall on the street and they die – that's that.
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The job of president is to motivate, to inspire, to be side by side with people making sure that they develop all their capacities and that I remove all the obstacles they have to grow by themselves.
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The hits I had in the '80s - I made those deals directly with American companies.
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I don't know if we are the best team in the world. I am lucky to be playing alongside some of the best players around. It's a dream.
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I have no mouth, and I must scream.
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The foreigners come out here always to teach, whereas they had much better learn, for, in everything but wits and knowledge, the Arab is generally the better man of the two.
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I don't think of myself as a movie star and I can pretty easily convince other people that I'm not a movie star.
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A manager gets in the Hall of Fame by what his players have done for him.
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I like hanging around the set and learning how people do things, how the set runs.
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I've always been a leader my whole life. I've always led. I didn't know how to do anything else.
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Everybody's fast and strong, but to go out there and throw pass-rush moves or be able to do something different on the run to get them off balance. Anybody can run into somebody, but if you can shake them a little bit at the line, that's what's helped me out as a player.
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I'm a gun owner.
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The wonderful thing about writing for theatre is you can go anywhere you want with the language. There are no limits. With film, they frown on language - it's always 'Too many words.'
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I really think that as good of a job as you do as a writer, you're absolutely indebted to the actors that have to deliver that material.
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I like the way that psychological extremity can illuminate more 'normal' characters by forcing a comparison.
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I'm constantly struggling with the futility and even sinfulness, from an antinatalist point of view, of creativity. And that struggle itself seems part of the creativity, though I sometimes suspect that it's nothing but a burden and an obstacle.
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Only a male intellect clouded by the sexual drive could call the stunted, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped and short-legged sex the fair sex.
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And why is it 'homophobic' for Senate Republicans to look askance at sex in public bathrooms? Is the Times claiming that sodomy in public bathrooms is the essence of being gay? I thought gays just wanted to get married to one another and settle down in the suburbs so they could visit each other in the hospital.
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I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.
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Note to self... Sex with blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.
