Mitch Hedberg Quotes

I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.

Mitch Hedberg

• Candy
• Machine
• Magnifying

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• If you put up a blog, people can cut out the middle man and get material to you. Which is really helpful because a lot of time there's really cool stuff out there that we just don't see. Because, y'know, the agent is acting in our best interest, but it does sometimes prevent some of the good stuff from getting through.

  

  Zach Galligan
  • People
  • Up
  • Time

• Knitting not only relaxes me, it also brings a feeling of being at home.

  

  Magdalena Neuner
  • Home
  • Feeling
  • Me

• The fundamental goal of Republicans and Democrats is to get themselves re-elected.

  

  Mallory Factor
  • Goal
  • Republicans
  • Democrats

• I did 'Are We There Yet?' because I wanted to do a movie for my fans' kids. Black kids don't really see movies on this budget for them, starring them. And there's so many white kids that love that movie.

  

  Ice Cube
  • Kids
  • Movie
  • Fans

• The proper study of Man is anything but Man; and the most improper job of any man, even saints (who at any rate were at least unwilling to take it on), is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.

  

  J. R. R. Tolkien
  • Men
  • Job
  • Man

• I'm inspired every time I see a role I'd like to play, an actor turn in a well crafted performance, a story I'd like to tell, direct or produce.

  

  T'Keyah Crystal Keymah
  • Time
  • Story
  • Inspired

• First, I want to pay tribute to Diana myself. She was an exceptional and gifted human being. In good times and bad, she never lost her capacity to smile and laugh, nor to inspire others with her warmth and kindness. I admired and respected her - for her energy and commitment to others, and especially for her devotion to her two boys.

  

  Queen Elizabeth II
  • Good
  • She
  • Bad

• I love Disney. I know that some Disney stars want to break out of the Disney mold, but no, if they let me, I would work with Disney until I die.

  

  Olesya Rulin
  • Work
  • Want
  • Know

• If you would ask me what my ideal process is, I would say, long pre-production, long production and long post-production.

  

  Park Chan-wook
  • Long
  • Me
  • Process

• Every writer has written a spec. It's the first thing you write, and it basically stands as a means of, 'Here's an example of how I tell stories.' It's almost like a business card.

  

  Taylor Sheridan
  • Business
  • Write
  • First

• Conversion is not my intention. Changing religion is not easy. You may develop some kind of confusion or difficulties.

  

  Dalai Lama
  • May
  • Kind
  • Religion

• I love music; it's my passion.

  

  Ja Rule
  • Music
  • Love
  • Passion

• The young have less charity for aged follies than the old for those of youth.

  

  Nathaniel Hawthorne
  • Charity

• I loved playing Go Go, because the character's so extreme. And she's pretty close to my real character. Especially the fact that she liked her sword with a lot of accessories.

  

  Chiaki Kuriyama
  • Real
  • She
  • Character

• I think when it comes to re-signing with an organisation, there's no real compromise if you're trying to move on.

  

  Eddie Alvarez
  • Real
  • Trying

• U.S. adversaries exploit power gaps. It's easier for Russia to invade Ukraine with irregular forces out of uniform, the so-called 'little green men,' than to send a conventional army that would challenge NATO.

  

  David Ignatius
  • Men
  • Power
  • Challenge

• The minute you start putting words on paper you're eliminating possibilities.

  

  Joan Didion
  • Words

• One in 150 kids is autistic these days. The autism spectrum is growing.

  

  Luke Ford
  • Kids
  • Growing
  • Autism

• The brotherhood of man is evoked by particular men according to their circumstances. But it seldom extends to all men. In the name of our freedom and our brotherhood we are prepared to blow up the other half of mankind and to be blown up in our turn.

  

  R. D. Laing
  • Up
  • Men
  • Freedom

• We're just so self-conscious. However much we try not to be, on some level, especially as a woman and an actress, you have so much pressure when it comes your hair and the bags under your eyes and your skin.

  

  Phoebe Waller-Bridge
  • Eyes
  • Hair

• Love is always a stranger in the house of avarice.

  

  Andreas Capellanus
  • House

• I can definitely eat more of some candy than I should, so I have found that if I have coffee or a chai latte, it curbs the sugar craving.

  

  Dylan Lauren
  • Coffee
  • Candy

• I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.

  

  Mitch Hedberg
  • Candy
  • Machine
  • Magnifying