William S. Burroughs Quotes
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'
Quotes to Explore
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Witty inspirations are the proverbs of the educated.
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What's great about stand-up is that you can say whatever you want and go around the country, and sometimes the world, and work on it and see how people react. You don't need Standards & Practices or notes from lawyers or producers to tell you what's funny.
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Wit is the appearance, the external flash of imagination. Thus its divinity, and the witty character of mysticism.
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What is extraordinary about the character of Edna - and I speak as though I am completely outside this character and I am talking to you - I'm, as it were, in the wings, and she's on stage, and every now and then she says something extremely funny, and I stand there and think: 'I wish I'd thought of that.'
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People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
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What's funny in 'The Mayor of MacDougal Street' is how Dave Van Ronk talks a lot about the time and how exciting it was and how electric it was.
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People are going to label you anyway, but the one that bugs me the most is when they say, 'One of the funniest female comedians.' There's s no 'funniest male comedians.' You're either a funny comedian, or you're not!
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My voice is distinctive: there's a rhythm to it, and also, it's funny. I was just blessed with a funny-sounding voice.
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I have an unfortunate personality.
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The less lines, the better. I am the silent film actor, but not in a slapstick sort of way. Film is an image-based medium, so whatever you can say without the words is far more provocative and punctuating. If the lines are not funny or if they don't advance the story, sometimes it's hard. I hate talk in movies.
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Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate.
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It's funny, because I've never thought of myself as a Hispanic actor, like in 'American Gangster,' I'm playing an Italian. I've always been fortunate enough to have been allowed to play all these diverse roles.
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Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious.
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The funny thing is that I'm the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who's traveled with me. Normally, I'm in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia!
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You can pretend to be serious; but you can't pretend to be witty.
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If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
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I wish I could be as thin as Jessica Simpson. I think she looks gorgeous! I have had Jessica on my show several times, and I can tell you that girl is genuine and funny with a great self-deprecating sense of humor.
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We adore babies because they're so cute. And, of course, we are amused by jokes because they are funny. This is all backwards. It is. And Darwin shows us why.
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There's been a lot of coming home in the early mornings after funny nights out, having bizarre sandwiches in bed.
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The Padres are really swinging some hot hats tonight!
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It is important not to trust people too much.
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You have to know when to be arrogant. You have to when to be humble. You have to know when to be hard and you have to know when to be soft.
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The kids get a vote. That's very important when it comes to raising kids. And always keep the bigger picture in mind.
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After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'
