Andy Borowitz Quotes
Quotes to Explore
-
There was just a lot of comedy on the TV in the house, and my parents are both very funny.
-
I was an expert horseman.
-
Somebody gets to be smart and somebody gets to be dumb. If we win, it'll be because of the president. And if we lose, it'll be because of me.
-
I got in a really bad accident in a Toyota vehicle, but I feel like the safety of the vehicle and God really saved my life.
-
I need one psychological expert to help me concentrate.
-
I put my thoughts in a book, which must mean I don't want anyone to read them.
-
I think Teach for America has suffered from the fact that I did not teach, in a major way. I also think if I had taught, I wouldn't have started Teach for America.
-
I think I owe it to myself to put my best effort forward and prove how good I can be.
-
It used to be that you needed a $500-million-a-year company in order to reach a worldwide audience of consumers. Now, all you need is a Steam account. That changes a whole bunch of stuff. It's kind of a boring 'gee, information processing changes a stuff' story, but it's going to have an impact on every single company.
-
Music was always part of my life - my mother says I came out singing. I wanted to be Gene Kelly - or Judy Garland.
-
The moral is that a career can be gone in an instant. And all you have in this world are the people you love.
-
Our focused customers are small business and young people. We did a great job in China. How can we help those young people in India, in Pakistan, in Africa. If they can use in the same ways.
-
America is a country that prides itself on being able to identify a 'straight shooter' or 'the genuine article' when it comes to our leaders. As a nation, we can 'feel it in our gut' when someone is giving us a bum steer.
-
An allegory is not meant to be taken literally. There is a great lack of comprehension on the part of some readers.
-
I remember in 'Pride and Prejudice' I had to do a scene where I broke down. And before we filmed I spent like three hours imagining my mum's funeral. Actually, she's very much alive, happy and healthy. It was really horrible.
-
I like to travel by myself.
-
In international relations, in foreign policy, a great deal has to do with historical circumstances, a great deal has to do with the sense and perception of people.
-
I have 60 years of reading to draw upon: naval memoirs, dispatches, the Naval Chronicles, family letters.
-
The thing about the wacky fans is that they're really sweet.
-
I invented rock & roll. Jimi Hendrix was my guitar player. James Brown was my vocalist.
-
Party system will bring out the worst in people and political party leader's will bring out ultimate backwardness in people.
-
I really think that sex always looks kind of funny in a movie.
-
Today's multiracial Americans are at greater liberty to choose how they'd like to be seen, and under less pressure to pass for white.
-
Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.
