Andy Borowitz Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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There was just a lot of comedy on the TV in the house, and my parents are both very funny.
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I was an expert horseman.
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Somebody gets to be smart and somebody gets to be dumb. If we win, it'll be because of the president. And if we lose, it'll be because of me.
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I got in a really bad accident in a Toyota vehicle, but I feel like the safety of the vehicle and God really saved my life.
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I need one psychological expert to help me concentrate.
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I put my thoughts in a book, which must mean I don't want anyone to read them.
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I think Teach for America has suffered from the fact that I did not teach, in a major way. I also think if I had taught, I wouldn't have started Teach for America.
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I think I owe it to myself to put my best effort forward and prove how good I can be.
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Music was always part of my life - my mother says I came out singing. I wanted to be Gene Kelly - or Judy Garland.
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The moral is that a career can be gone in an instant. And all you have in this world are the people you love.
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Our focused customers are small business and young people. We did a great job in China. How can we help those young people in India, in Pakistan, in Africa. If they can use in the same ways.
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An allegory is not meant to be taken literally. There is a great lack of comprehension on the part of some readers.
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I remember in 'Pride and Prejudice' I had to do a scene where I broke down. And before we filmed I spent like three hours imagining my mum's funeral. Actually, she's very much alive, happy and healthy. It was really horrible.
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In international relations, in foreign policy, a great deal has to do with historical circumstances, a great deal has to do with the sense and perception of people.
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But the exposure we got by doing the stint with Nine Inch Nails brought us a lot of attention.
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I have been given the authority over you, and I am not the best of you. If I do well, help me; and if I do wrong, set me right. Sincere regard for truth.
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The core character of Victorians is one of aspiration and ambition, and Victorians have, since first settlement days... demonstrated that core character over and over again.
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The spirit of adventure to embrace the new and the incredible belief in the power of invention attracted me to the Russian avant-garde.
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The idea of printing out something that's as scary as a tumor into its concrete form was something that spoke to me - there is something very liberating about that idea.
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We hope President Obama will now respect the will of the people, change course, and commit to making the changes they are demanding. To the extent he is willing to do this, we are ready to work with him.
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I didn't even recall being on the DB sessions until Herbie Flowers reminded me a couple of years ago.
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I look at you and you look at me and deep in our hearts know it That you weren't much of a muse, but then I weren't much of a poet...
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We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.
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Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.
