Andy Borowitz Quotes

Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.

Andy Borowitz

• People
• Facebook
• Birthdays

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Quotes to Explore

• There was just a lot of comedy on the TV in the house, and my parents are both very funny.

  

  Kate McKinnon
  • House
  • Parents
  • Funny

• I was an expert horseman.

  

  Harry Carey, Jr.
  • Expert
  • Horseman

• Somebody gets to be smart and somebody gets to be dumb. If we win, it'll be because of the president. And if we lose, it'll be because of me.

  

  Karl Rove
  • Smart
  • Win
  • President

• I got in a really bad accident in a Toyota vehicle, but I feel like the safety of the vehicle and God really saved my life.

  

  Lance Gross
  • Life
  • God
  • Bad

• I need one psychological expert to help me concentrate.

  

  Dana Hussein
  • Help
  • Me
  • Concentrate

• I put my thoughts in a book, which must mean I don't want anyone to read them.

  

  Karan Mahajan
  • Book
  • Want
  • Thoughts

• I think Teach for America has suffered from the fact that I did not teach, in a major way. I also think if I had taught, I wouldn't have started Teach for America.

  

  Wendy Kopp
  • America
  • Think
  • Teach

• I think I owe it to myself to put my best effort forward and prove how good I can be.

  

  Patrick Kane
  • Good
  • Myself
  • Best

• Music was always part of my life - my mother says I came out singing. I wanted to be Gene Kelly - or Judy Garland.

  

  Imelda May
  • Life
  • Music
  • Mother

• The moral is that a career can be gone in an instant. And all you have in this world are the people you love.

  

  Ice Cube
  • People
  • World
  • Love

• Our focused customers are small business and young people. We did a great job in China. How can we help those young people in India, in Pakistan, in Africa. If they can use in the same ways.

  

  Jack Ma
  • People
  • Great
  • Business

• An allegory is not meant to be taken literally. There is a great lack of comprehension on the part of some readers.

  

  Naguib Mahfouz
  • Great
  • Taken
  • Some

• I remember in 'Pride and Prejudice' I had to do a scene where I broke down. And before we filmed I spent like three hours imagining my mum's funeral. Actually, she's very much alive, happy and healthy. It was really horrible.

  

  Carey Mulligan
  • Remember
  • Happy
  • Pride

• I like to travel by myself.

  

  Carly Rae Jepsen
  • Myself
  • Like
  • Travel

• In international relations, in foreign policy, a great deal has to do with historical circumstances, a great deal has to do with the sense and perception of people.

  

  Salman Khurshid
  • People
  • Great
  • Perception

• But the exposure we got by doing the stint with Nine Inch Nails brought us a lot of attention.

  

  Daisy Berkowitz
  • Attention
  • Doing
  • Nails

• I have been given the authority over you, and I am not the best of you. If I do well, help me; and if I do wrong, set me right. Sincere regard for truth.

  

  Abu Bakr
  • Truth
  • Right
  • Wrong

• The core character of Victorians is one of aspiration and ambition, and Victorians have, since first settlement days... demonstrated that core character over and over again.

  

  Ted Baillieu
  • Character
  • Ambition
  • First

• People know about the Klan and the overt racism, but the killing of one's soul little by little, day after day, is a lot worse than someone coming in your house and lynching you.

  

  Samuel L. Jackson
  • People
  • Soul
  • House

• I speak a little bit of French and German, but apparently, I'm really bad at Dutch. The pronunciations are quite hard. I tried to say 'hello' in Dutch, and it did not work. People were just like, 'What?'

  

  Lauren Mayberry Chvrches
  • People
  • Work
  • Bad

• Overnight successes are generally years in the making. And most progress is made in isolation, far from the public eye.

  

  Andrew Yan
  • Progress

• There is more good writing and good acting in any ten minutes of Twister than in, say, all of Citizen Kane.

  

  Orson Scott Card
  • Good
  • Writing
  • Good Writing

• Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven’t got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die.

  

  Oscar Wilde
  • People
  • Knowledge
  • Die

• Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.

  

  Andy Borowitz
  • People
  • Facebook
  • Birthdays