Andy Borowitz Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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There was just a lot of comedy on the TV in the house, and my parents are both very funny.
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I was an expert horseman.
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Somebody gets to be smart and somebody gets to be dumb. If we win, it'll be because of the president. And if we lose, it'll be because of me.
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I got in a really bad accident in a Toyota vehicle, but I feel like the safety of the vehicle and God really saved my life.
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I need one psychological expert to help me concentrate.
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I put my thoughts in a book, which must mean I don't want anyone to read them.
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I think Teach for America has suffered from the fact that I did not teach, in a major way. I also think if I had taught, I wouldn't have started Teach for America.
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I think I owe it to myself to put my best effort forward and prove how good I can be.
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It used to be that you needed a $500-million-a-year company in order to reach a worldwide audience of consumers. Now, all you need is a Steam account. That changes a whole bunch of stuff. It's kind of a boring 'gee, information processing changes a stuff' story, but it's going to have an impact on every single company.
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Music was always part of my life - my mother says I came out singing. I wanted to be Gene Kelly - or Judy Garland.
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The moral is that a career can be gone in an instant. And all you have in this world are the people you love.
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Our focused customers are small business and young people. We did a great job in China. How can we help those young people in India, in Pakistan, in Africa. If they can use in the same ways.
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America is a country that prides itself on being able to identify a 'straight shooter' or 'the genuine article' when it comes to our leaders. As a nation, we can 'feel it in our gut' when someone is giving us a bum steer.
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An allegory is not meant to be taken literally. There is a great lack of comprehension on the part of some readers.
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I remember in 'Pride and Prejudice' I had to do a scene where I broke down. And before we filmed I spent like three hours imagining my mum's funeral. Actually, she's very much alive, happy and healthy. It was really horrible.
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I like to travel by myself.
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In international relations, in foreign policy, a great deal has to do with historical circumstances, a great deal has to do with the sense and perception of people.
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I have 60 years of reading to draw upon: naval memoirs, dispatches, the Naval Chronicles, family letters.
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I'm really an outdoorsy girl. People think I can't go anywhere without getting all primped up, but I love to go camping, and I'm totally fine with not doing my hair or makeup, not taking a shower and just hiking.
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I have a big problem when the sanctimonious, holier than thou congressmen and women go on national television for six hours and beat somebody up with a stick, and not because I'm 'Ms. Manners.' That's not what bothers me. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
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I tend to write at the piano, but usually the melody and lyrics come first. Like, I'll be in the shower, and I'll start singing, and the melody and the lyric will just come out. Then I'll quickly try to finish the shower, try to remember it, record it on my phone and save it for the studio.
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I've always wanted to do action stuff. I like it. You really want something that's special; that's got something special about it and not cheesy, I guess. I'll tell you something, it's fun, it's different. Comedy is difficult. Doing comedy is very difficult. Action stuff is fun.
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My parents called me the WB frog. Because when I was onstage, I would do this whole song and dance, but if my parents had a family friend over, I would just go hide in the bedroom.
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Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.
