Andy Borowitz Quotes
You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.
Quotes to Explore
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I paint for the sheer joy of painting. I have never sold any of my paintings. I'd rather give them to people for free.
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Everybody sooner or later has to drop the luggage and the baggage of illusions.
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I think there was a time when I considered myself a work addict, but that's no longer accurate. My life has changed so dramatically over the last number of years, especially having a family now. My priorities have shifted.
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Exposing your ignorance is how you get somebody to embrace you.
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No person is just one particular emotion.
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All human beings are also dream beings. Dreaming ties all mankind together.
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Banks are slowly but surely lending again, and never again will taxpayers foot the bill for Wall Street's excesses. In case we forgot, that was the change we believed in. That was the change we fought for. That was the change President Obama delivered.
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'The Museum of Innocence' is not about politics; it's a love story, but I think it's political in the sense that it wants to capture how a man suppresses a woman.
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A society is defined as much by how it comes to terms with its past as by its attitude toward the future: its memories are no less revealing than its aims.
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Since I am first of all a character writer, that character's emotions are as vivid to me as my own. I always begin with an emotion after I have established a character in my mind. I feel what they feel. I guess that is why it comes across so strongly.
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I date, don't get me wrong. I'm not up here filing my fingernails on a Friday night. I want to find someone to share my life with.
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I think as I have got older, I have got a bit more relaxed, although you might not think that if you heard me screaming at my kids.
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There is something very utopian about what I do. But utopia is nothing more than a truth that the world is not yet ready to hear.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
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Staying fit is all about trying to find enjoyment in something physical, because that's the only way you're gonna get results.
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If one is but secure at the foundation, he will not be pained by departure from minor details or affairs that are contrary to expectation. But in the end, the details of a matter are important. The right and wrong of one's way of doing things are found in trivial matters.
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First-time novelists have a tough row to hoe. Our publishers don’t have a lot of promotional budget to throw at unknown factors like us. Mostly, we rise and fall based on word-of-mouth.
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In those locations, where that type of support could be located -- and then a unilateral action would occur by Iraqis or the United States government -- that would seriously escalate our problems with the Syrian government.
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It's a matriarchal family, the Carters. A.P. was the original head of the Carter family, but the women were always strong. There were no questions asked in that regard; you had better be strong.
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Because these show are live, script pages are being switched during the program and new commercial teases might be yelled in your ear with just enough time to scribble them on scrap paper before reading them.
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You look at the world around you, and you take it apart into all its components. Then you take some of those components, throw them away, and plug in different ones, start it up and see what happens.
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For an Impressionist to paint from nature is not to paint the subject, but to realize sensations.
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You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.
