Andy Borowitz Quotes
You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.
Quotes to Explore
-
I paint for the sheer joy of painting. I have never sold any of my paintings. I'd rather give them to people for free.
-
Everybody sooner or later has to drop the luggage and the baggage of illusions.
-
I think there was a time when I considered myself a work addict, but that's no longer accurate. My life has changed so dramatically over the last number of years, especially having a family now. My priorities have shifted.
-
Exposing your ignorance is how you get somebody to embrace you.
-
No person is just one particular emotion.
-
All human beings are also dream beings. Dreaming ties all mankind together.
-
Banks are slowly but surely lending again, and never again will taxpayers foot the bill for Wall Street's excesses. In case we forgot, that was the change we believed in. That was the change we fought for. That was the change President Obama delivered.
-
'The Museum of Innocence' is not about politics; it's a love story, but I think it's political in the sense that it wants to capture how a man suppresses a woman.
-
A society is defined as much by how it comes to terms with its past as by its attitude toward the future: its memories are no less revealing than its aims.
-
Since I am first of all a character writer, that character's emotions are as vivid to me as my own. I always begin with an emotion after I have established a character in my mind. I feel what they feel. I guess that is why it comes across so strongly.
-
I date, don't get me wrong. I'm not up here filing my fingernails on a Friday night. I want to find someone to share my life with.
-
I think as I have got older, I have got a bit more relaxed, although you might not think that if you heard me screaming at my kids.
-
In all honesty, once you become a professional, number one, you're no longer a fan. I don't root for the Dodgers, really. I just try to do the game as best I can. And the winning and the losing will take care of itself.
-
There is something very utopian about what I do. But utopia is nothing more than a truth that the world is not yet ready to hear.
-
Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
-
I've lived an amazing life. There's no reason to focus on the bad. They teach you that in racing school. Keep your eye where you want your front tire to be. You don't want to be stuck in the rut? Then don't look at the rut. Always look at where you want to go.
-
Staying fit is all about trying to find enjoyment in something physical, because that's the only way you're gonna get results.
-
If one is but secure at the foundation, he will not be pained by departure from minor details or affairs that are contrary to expectation. But in the end, the details of a matter are important. The right and wrong of one's way of doing things are found in trivial matters.
-
One should feel in the right arm the vibration of the bow hair on the strings. ... The moment tension or hardness enters into the hand then of course the vibrations will not be felt- they cannot penetrate.
-
I try to focus on what I'm supposed to do, and to do my job the best I can. I kind of let everything happen the way it's supposed to happen, let everything fall into place the way it should.
-
One of my favorite venues is the Bowery Ballroom in New York. I love the room; there's a tiny stage, but I really like the feel of it.
-
If you work so hard to reach your goal but you lose your pole in the very last run, that's hard to take.
-
You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.
