Andy Borowitz Quotes
You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.
Quotes to Explore
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I paint for the sheer joy of painting. I have never sold any of my paintings. I'd rather give them to people for free.
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The success of 'The Shadow of the Wind' made me very happy, but it did not change my perspective or the way I was.
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Everybody sooner or later has to drop the luggage and the baggage of illusions.
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I think there was a time when I considered myself a work addict, but that's no longer accurate. My life has changed so dramatically over the last number of years, especially having a family now. My priorities have shifted.
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Exposing your ignorance is how you get somebody to embrace you.
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No person is just one particular emotion.
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All human beings are also dream beings. Dreaming ties all mankind together.
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Banks are slowly but surely lending again, and never again will taxpayers foot the bill for Wall Street's excesses. In case we forgot, that was the change we believed in. That was the change we fought for. That was the change President Obama delivered.
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'The Museum of Innocence' is not about politics; it's a love story, but I think it's political in the sense that it wants to capture how a man suppresses a woman.
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A society is defined as much by how it comes to terms with its past as by its attitude toward the future: its memories are no less revealing than its aims.
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Since I am first of all a character writer, that character's emotions are as vivid to me as my own. I always begin with an emotion after I have established a character in my mind. I feel what they feel. I guess that is why it comes across so strongly.
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I date, don't get me wrong. I'm not up here filing my fingernails on a Friday night. I want to find someone to share my life with.
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I think as I have got older, I have got a bit more relaxed, although you might not think that if you heard me screaming at my kids.
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In all honesty, once you become a professional, number one, you're no longer a fan. I don't root for the Dodgers, really. I just try to do the game as best I can. And the winning and the losing will take care of itself.
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There is something very utopian about what I do. But utopia is nothing more than a truth that the world is not yet ready to hear.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
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I've lived an amazing life. There's no reason to focus on the bad. They teach you that in racing school. Keep your eye where you want your front tire to be. You don't want to be stuck in the rut? Then don't look at the rut. Always look at where you want to go.
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Most of the time, as a model, I feel like I'm just a doll. They control how I should move.
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That phrase "hocus-pocus" started out as "hocus-pocus dominocus", and was, in the beginning, a mocking imitation of the holy incantations of the Catholic Church's Latin liturgy. So say the lexicologists.
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Women kill me. They really do. I don't mean I'm oversexed or anything like that—although I am quite sexy. I just like them, I mean. They're always leaving their goddam bags out in the middle of the aisle.
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Old Deuteronomy's lived a long time; He's a Cat who has lived many lives in succession. He was famous in proverb and famous in rhyme A long while before Queen Victoria's accession.
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I think people in my district expect me to work with the president. It doesn't mean we have to agree all the time. I don't feel any extra pressure.
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You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.
