Craig Shoemaker Quotes

My dog is half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip!

Craig Shoemaker

• Funny
• Dog
• Humor
• Gossip

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Quotes to Explore

• I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny.

  

  P. J. O'Rourke
  • Home
  • Guy
  • Pretty

• Humor can be an incredible lacerating and effective weapon. And that is the way I use it.

  

  Carl Hiaasen
  • Way
  • Humor
  • Incredible

• I'm doin' something different. I mean, I talk a little bit about race and interracial dating, but it's not the heart of my act. I just try to do what I think is funny; there's no huge message or through line.

  

  Hannibal Buress
  • Different
  • Heart
  • Funny

• I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

  

  Eddie Izzard
  • Up
  • History
  • Funny

• I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

  

  Mae West
  • Funny
  • Snow
  • White

• I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

  

  Dane Cook
  • Think
  • Funny
  • Better

• I wish I could be as thin as Jessica Simpson. I think she looks gorgeous! I have had Jessica on my show several times, and I can tell you that girl is genuine and funny with a great self-deprecating sense of humor.

  

  Rachael Ray
  • Great
  • She
  • Girl

• Even though 'Spider-Man' is a huge blockbuster, it really didn't feel like that. It felt like we were making this weird, funny high school movie. Like just hanging out with a group of friends.

  

  Laura Harrier
  • School
  • Friends
  • Movie

• My parents have always had a great sense of humor. And I really appreciate good humor in songs, witty lyrics that sneak up on you and then you listen again, and say: 'That's so funny.' John Prine's songs have always had this really witty tone.

  

  Kacey Musgraves
  • Up
  • Good
  • Great

• You can't be funny for funny's sake. You try to get as outrageous situation as you can but it always has to be believable and based in real character motivations and what people would really do.

  

  Hank Azaria
  • People
  • Real
  • Character

• Our dog, Comet, is a Lab/poodle mix. She's goofy and silly and sweet.

  

  Garth Stein
  • She
  • Dog
  • Sweet

• 'Vicky Donor' proved that the audience was waiting for well-scripted funny films.

  

  Yami Gautam
  • Funny
  • Waiting
  • Audience

• Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana.

  

  Lana Turner
  • Life
  • My Life
  • Humor

• I tell girls all the time that the men that have fallen in love with me, have all fallen during a man repeller stage... funny how life works out like that.

  

  Rachel Roy
  • Life
  • Time
  • Men

• You know, I said I have this problem that I need to more carefully read Akron's text because it's too much, too much fantasy, and so I am busy with other stuff - it's funny, it's nice to hear that someone is studying that carefully and now I know a little bit more about that.

  

  H. R. Giger
  • Funny
  • Nice
  • Problem

• Possibly I've become less funny as I've been happier.

  

  Wendy Cope
  • Funny
  • Become
  • Less

• He was wild the way a mistreated dog becomes wild, not because it loves freedom, but because it has lost trust.

  

  Orson Scott Card
  • Freedom
  • Lost
  • Trust

• You are so funny to ask me about 'The Look'. I've been asked many times, and I really am not sure what anyone means.

  

  Madeleine Stowe
  • Funny

• If someone were to say seriously, "I'm divine," she'd have to be locked up. There are lots of people in mental institutions going around saying "I'm God." But because I'm funny about it, they haven't locked me up yet. And I don't give myself airs, either.

  

  Bette Midler
  • People
  • Up
  • God

• Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honoured.

  

  Isaac Hayes
  • People
  • Religious
  • Beliefs

• I am sorry my decisions do not meet with your approval, but nevertheless, they are mine, and the consequences are also mine.

  

  Rachel Caine
  • Decision
  • Sorry
  • Consequences

• Your persistent longing is your persistent voice. But when love grows cold, the heart grows silent. Burning love is the outcry of the heart! If you are filled with longing all the time, you will keep crying out, and if your love perseveres, your cry will be heard without fail.

  

  Saint Augustine
  • Time
  • Heart
  • Cold

• I wrote a poem about it, and then threw it away, because that’s the last thing I need right now: More words dedicated to people who will never dedicate a single thing to me

  

  Charlotte Green
  • Need
  • Last
  • Poem

• My dog is half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip!

  

  Craig Shoemaker
  • Funny
  • Dog
  • Humor