Brad Williams Quotes
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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you'd be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
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I'm not going to talk too much politics because I'm not smart enough to do that.
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I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's where jokes happen.
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Being cold, we're not decomposing as much as they could be.
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Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they've seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.
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I kind of want to know a little bit about everything.
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I like to play video games, I like to keep up with sports, and I just like to spend time with people, because I'm on the road so much that when I'm home, I like to spend time with people that I don't normally get to see.
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I try not to be mean for the sake of being mean, and if I do do a joke or a tweet or something that is at someone's expense - and those are my fine lines; obviously they're there - I want it to be something that's pretty much across the board we all as a society agree this is bad.
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That is the most confusing and insane thing to me, when people get offended on behalf of another group.
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In every other aspect of their life, we have entertainment that is crafted almost to an individual. So they expect that from stand-up as well.
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I don't think I'm extremely intelligent by any means.
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I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That's the constant. That's the thing that I'm going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.
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I'm funny because I'm funny. And there's more to offer.
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I'm such a damn workaholic, that it's interesting to be like, "Oh, what do I do for fun?"
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I don't get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.
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We lost some really good senior leaders, so a lot of those new guys are going to have to step up and fill those roles.
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It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.
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For strangers, what I get a lot is people calling me the opposite of what I am.
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The personal boundaries, I think for comedians they're a little bit different anyway, but I think people - feel free to do stuff - It's interesting with comedians because when we walk on stage, oftentimes we're talking about ourselves for an hour and we're talking about very intimate details, so after hearing us for an hour, a lot of people feel very comfortable with us because they feel like they know us and they're our friends because we just told them our innermost secrets and details of our lives for an hour. What they forget is we know absolutely nothing about the audience.
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When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, "And now his watch is over." That's what they say when a comedian dies. They go, "And now his tour is done."