Brad Williams Quotes
-
Now, I've gotten to the point in my career, I'm 13 years in, to where I know that I'm funny. I know that I'm good at this.
-
There are things that I won't joke about, but it's not because I don't think they're funny or they can't be made funny. It's just that they don't fit my particular skill set.
-
Comedian makes the statement that just isn't true.
-
I've been to Canada, and they love - oh my God, they love their stand-up comedy in Canada. I've been overseas to do shows for the troops all over the Middle East, and I actually went to China recently and did shows, not for the troops, but just for local Chinese people, and Americans that have moved there, and things like that. It was fantastic. They got it. They're way smarter than we give them credit for.
-
They chose 10 riders in the nationals to watch, and will pick five.
-
I'm constantly watching satirical news programs, and just - I never want to be in a situation where someone could yell out a topic and I will have absolutely no opinion on it whatsoever, or just not even know it exists.
-
I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come see me and then for an hour I tell jokes about being a little person. I just don't want that to happen. I understand that it's part of me, that's the first thing that you notice and it's something that people are curious about.
-
If there's any place that Bode connects, it's with kids. The way CBS portrayed him in their press release gave kids this misguided view that this is how they should be acting.
-
There was no splatter or droplets of blood which can happen with gunshot wounds.
-
Everyone just wants to hear the exact jokes that apply to them and want to - everyone wants a perfectly crafted joke for them.
-
Women feel safe with me as well they should, because not only am I morally objected at going too far, but physically I cannot do it.
-
There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
-
I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don't pretend like this never happens. But at the same time, I never cried about it. I never got sad about it.
-
If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, "That joke offended me," I'm still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
-
I hate that when people are like, "Well, all dwarves know each other, right?" And you want to get mad, but you can't because we do.
-
There is no quick fix to digital piracy.
-
I don't know how to write jokes from the point of view of a six-foot-two guy. So, I'll always talk about it, but I just don't want it to be the absolute focus of all of my act.
-
It's very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.
-
People ask me a lot like, "Hey, so when are you done with your tour?" Like when I die. That's when I'm done with my tour.
-
I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It's a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.
-
Freedom of speech does not mean that you have to agree with everything that a comedian says, but that comedian should have the freedom to be able to try to make that funny. It's the attempt that I'm trying to defend so hard, no necessarily the execution.
-
The slowdown in PC sales has been pretty well documented, and we're trying to give consumers a reason to buy.
-
If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you'd be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
-
We lost some really good senior leaders, so a lot of those new guys are going to have to step up and fill those roles.