Brad Williams Quotes
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It's when I make a joke about Indian people and then a white person comes up to me and says, "That's wrong. You should not talk about Indian people," and the Indian people are over in the audience like, "I thought that joke was hilarious." That is so weird. Then why are you getting mad? You're burning unnecessary calories. You're getting made for the sake of getting mad. I don't understand it.
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They chose 10 riders in the nationals to watch, and will pick five.
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There was no splatter or droplets of blood which can happen with gunshot wounds.
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I think, in a way, I've returned to who I used to be as a global correspondent whose life was devoted to really making a difference, illuminating what's happening in the world, always drawn toward the suffering of peoples and cultures and exposing exploitation and injustice; but now I'm the same person in a much, much softer iteration.
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There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
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I hate that when people are like, "Well, all dwarves know each other, right?" And you want to get mad, but you can't because we do.
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Women feel safe with me as well they should, because not only am I morally objected at going too far, but physically I cannot do it.
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There is no quick fix to digital piracy.
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Freedom of speech does not mean that you have to agree with everything that a comedian says, but that comedian should have the freedom to be able to try to make that funny. It's the attempt that I'm trying to defend so hard, no necessarily the execution.
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I've been to Canada, and they love - oh my God, they love their stand-up comedy in Canada. I've been overseas to do shows for the troops all over the Middle East, and I actually went to China recently and did shows, not for the troops, but just for local Chinese people, and Americans that have moved there, and things like that. It was fantastic. They got it. They're way smarter than we give them credit for.
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There are things that I won't joke about, but it's not because I don't think they're funny or they can't be made funny. It's just that they don't fit my particular skill set.
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Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they've seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.
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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you'd be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
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People ask me a lot like, "Hey, so when are you done with your tour?" Like when I die. That's when I'm done with my tour.
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Now, I've gotten to the point in my career, I'm 13 years in, to where I know that I'm funny. I know that I'm good at this.
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I try not to be mean for the sake of being mean, and if I do do a joke or a tweet or something that is at someone's expense - and those are my fine lines; obviously they're there - I want it to be something that's pretty much across the board we all as a society agree this is bad.
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The slowdown in PC sales has been pretty well documented, and we're trying to give consumers a reason to buy.
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I'm not going to talk too much politics because I'm not smart enough to do that.
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Everyone just wants to hear the exact jokes that apply to them and want to - everyone wants a perfectly crafted joke for them.
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It's very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.
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I don't think I'm extremely intelligent by any means.
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I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It's a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.
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I don't know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It's very confusing to me.
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In every other aspect of their life, we have entertainment that is crafted almost to an individual. So they expect that from stand-up as well.