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They chose 10 riders in the nationals to watch, and will pick five.
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I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come see me and then for an hour I tell jokes about being a little person. I just don't want that to happen. I understand that it's part of me, that's the first thing that you notice and it's something that people are curious about.
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If there's any place that Bode connects, it's with kids. The way CBS portrayed him in their press release gave kids this misguided view that this is how they should be acting.
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There are things that I won't joke about, but it's not because I don't think they're funny or they can't be made funny. It's just that they don't fit my particular skill set.
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There was no splatter or droplets of blood which can happen with gunshot wounds.
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Women feel safe with me as well they should, because not only am I morally objected at going too far, but physically I cannot do it.
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Everyone just wants to hear the exact jokes that apply to them and want to - everyone wants a perfectly crafted joke for them.
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I've been to Canada, and they love - oh my God, they love their stand-up comedy in Canada. I've been overseas to do shows for the troops all over the Middle East, and I actually went to China recently and did shows, not for the troops, but just for local Chinese people, and Americans that have moved there, and things like that. It was fantastic. They got it. They're way smarter than we give them credit for.
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I hate that when people are like, "Well, all dwarves know each other, right?" And you want to get mad, but you can't because we do.
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There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
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Comedian makes the statement that just isn't true.
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Now, I've gotten to the point in my career, I'm 13 years in, to where I know that I'm funny. I know that I'm good at this.
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I don't know how to write jokes from the point of view of a six-foot-two guy. So, I'll always talk about it, but I just don't want it to be the absolute focus of all of my act.
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There is no quick fix to digital piracy.
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It's very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.
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I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It's a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.
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People ask me a lot like, "Hey, so when are you done with your tour?" Like when I die. That's when I'm done with my tour.
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Freedom of speech does not mean that you have to agree with everything that a comedian says, but that comedian should have the freedom to be able to try to make that funny. It's the attempt that I'm trying to defend so hard, no necessarily the execution.
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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you'd be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
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I'm constantly watching satirical news programs, and just - I never want to be in a situation where someone could yell out a topic and I will have absolutely no opinion on it whatsoever, or just not even know it exists.
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Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they've seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.
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We lost some really good senior leaders, so a lot of those new guys are going to have to step up and fill those roles.
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The slowdown in PC sales has been pretty well documented, and we're trying to give consumers a reason to buy.
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I'm funny because I'm funny. And there's more to offer.