Brad Williams Quotes
-
We support encryption. But there is no magic fix for music piracy.
-
I don't know why you'd go to a comedian and say, "You know what? You have a large menu of items, but this one thing I did not like and therefore, you should be shut down. You should cease to make a living and you should be thrown out in the streets."
-
I'm in awe of comedians that do things that I can't do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be - hell, Carrot Top. I can't be Carrot Top. I can't.
-
I don't want to be mean. I try not to be.
-
I don't know anything about you, so when you randomly come up and grab my ass, this isn't a friend doing it. It's like, "Who the f### is doing...? I was not expecting that."
-
When you talk about modern comedy I think there's a big three right now, and that's Louis C.K., Bill Burr, and Jim Jefferies. I don't think anyone's doing it better than those three guys.
-
Most of the times to be honest with you, I get sexually harassed certainly more than I do to females, because... they are comfortable with me, and because they know I can't take it to a dangerous place.
-
Every now and then you'll say something that didn't quite work. But the important thing is, as a comic, you try to learn why it didn't. And then you adjust and figure out how to either make it work or just abandon it because it's just not funny.
-
It's extremely important for people to be informed and to be educated and to know what's going in their community and in their country, but every now and then you just kind of want to turn the brain off for a little bit and just laugh and be silly.
-
We believe it will be hard to accumulate enough reserves to fully insulate the state from a spending reduction.
-
They have to embrace digital media technology and the Internet, instead of subverting it with regulation.
-
I found out if you're a funny guy, a lot of people like you.
-
Just imagine in 20 years, when candidates will have grown up with social media their entire lives. We're going to have a president where we have - where someone could go through their timeline, or someone could go through their Snapchat, or someone will find - a future president will have sent a d### pic.
-
I don't get the animosity when someone tells a joke that you don't like. Whereas if someone made a dish that you don't like if you went to a restaurant, you would either try another dish or you just don't go back to that restaurant. But you don't say like, "I did not like the hamburger here. This restaurant should be shut down. It should be banned from making hamburgers. No one else should have these hamburgers." And everyone else is like, "No, you wouldn't do that."
-
Everyone's going to have a racist tweet, a homophobic tweet, a xenophobic tweet, a misogynist tweet. Everyone's going to have a tweet or a post or something that's not going to be ideal, and because of that, you can't really throw stones too hard at the people that do, because if we examined your life in every way, shape, or form, went through every single post with a fine-toothed comb and under that microscope, would it come out all sunshine and lollipops?
-
It's weird when people ask me, "Why are you so nice?" It's like, "Because that's just what you should do. You should be kind to people." It seems really basic, but it's amazing how many people forget that.
-
Women feel safe with me. Because a woman with me knows that she can stop the situation from advancing to a point that she's comfortable at any time.
-
Half the time, you go on any one of these news sites, whether it be a Yahoo or a Google, and one of the top headlines is always, "Did a comedian go too far?" or "Comedian offends." It's like, "Really? Comedian?" A person that's supposed to make funny and make silly and historically was the only person who was allowed to make fun of the king? We're the ones that you're taking seriously?
-
I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.
-
There is often times when I'm in a bar or after a show, and a woman just grabs my head and shoves it into her cleavage, or grabs my ass, or something like that which - don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining, but it's just interesting. It's just interesting that that occurs.
-
The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A, never going to see me in the first place, or, B, were dragged to see me by somebody else.
-
I admire ventriloquists, because I can't do that. I mean, I might get mistaken for a ventriloquist dummy every now and then, but I can't do what they do.
-
I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come see me and then for an hour I tell jokes about being a little person. I just don't want that to happen. I understand that it's part of me, that's the first thing that you notice and it's something that people are curious about.
-
If there's any place that Bode connects, it's with kids. The way CBS portrayed him in their press release gave kids this misguided view that this is how they should be acting.