Brett Gelman Quotes
I've always been an actor, even when I was doing improv and my own version of stand up.

Quotes to Explore
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'Obvious' is the most dangerous word in mathematics.
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I'd like to be remembered as one who kept my priorities in the right order.
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Before I was 5, I did have a lot of time on my hands. I had no job and really no career, and I spent an awful lot of time listening to records. It was more the classical ones, really - Prokofiev, and I think there was some Mozart in there, and more impressionistic composers like Delius.
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I can hardly eat meat because it has to look like something what it was not when it was alive.
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I think I 'turn off' women. I've a kind of a weird personality. Women may think that I'm a mess.
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I would dodge, not lie, in the national interest.
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You don't just wake up one morning and decide to become a singer-songwriter.
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Having money has given me a certain freedom, but being in the public eye has taken away a lot.
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I've learned to be more accepting of myself. I'm 37, not 18, and I've got the lines to prove it. I try to remind myself that a girl can have it all, just not all at once.
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A painter once told me that I'm like the Khajuraho, which you see once but which remains with you forever. I thought that was exquisite.
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I think people like it when you have a bit of personality.
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Two young actresses I admire are Emma Stone and Emma Watson, because they are intelligent, talented actresses and have a great sense of humor. They have learned to balance what they love in life - acting, school and everything else.
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I don't sleep. I hate those little slices of death.
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I don't go to New York. I don't go to parties. I just do my business and study nature. My career is 28 years in an obscure art school, with limited staff and no perks. All I am is a teacher.
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When you're first learning how to do eyeliner, it's really hard to get both lids the same. A good tip for when you're putting it on, is to make sure your elbow is on a table. Make sure your arm's really stable. And make sure you have an eye makeup q-tip to get that really sharp line.
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I'm hopeful that Israelis can go to Ramallah whenever they want and see how the people are living.
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Good satire comes from anger. It comes from a sense of injustice, that there are wrongs in the world that need to be fixed. And what better place to get that well of venom and outrage boiling than a newsroom, because you're on the front lines.
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I am the hero of Africa.
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It's nice to have boundaries, because as long as we have them, we can cross them a bit, and that's what perks interest. If you have full freedom, what do you do?
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There is nothing as mysterious as a fact clearly described. I photograph to see what something will look like photographed.
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There are five stages in the life of an actor: Who's Mary Astor? Get me Mary Astor. Get me a Mary Astor type. Get me a young Mary Astor. Who's Mary Astor?
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We're not going to stand up and say that these 14 things make us human, ... But it's not trivial to be able to say, 'Here is an inventory of the most important differences, and now go at it and figure out which of these differences contain the signatures of what is distinctively human.'
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I've always been an actor, even when I was doing improv and my own version of stand up.