Brett Gelman Quotes
I've always been an actor, even when I was doing improv and my own version of stand up.

Quotes to Explore
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'Obvious' is the most dangerous word in mathematics.
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I'd like to be remembered as one who kept my priorities in the right order.
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Before I was 5, I did have a lot of time on my hands. I had no job and really no career, and I spent an awful lot of time listening to records. It was more the classical ones, really - Prokofiev, and I think there was some Mozart in there, and more impressionistic composers like Delius.
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I can hardly eat meat because it has to look like something what it was not when it was alive.
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I think I 'turn off' women. I've a kind of a weird personality. Women may think that I'm a mess.
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I would dodge, not lie, in the national interest.
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You don't just wake up one morning and decide to become a singer-songwriter.
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Having money has given me a certain freedom, but being in the public eye has taken away a lot.
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I've learned to be more accepting of myself. I'm 37, not 18, and I've got the lines to prove it. I try to remind myself that a girl can have it all, just not all at once.
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A painter once told me that I'm like the Khajuraho, which you see once but which remains with you forever. I thought that was exquisite.
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I think people like it when you have a bit of personality.
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Two young actresses I admire are Emma Stone and Emma Watson, because they are intelligent, talented actresses and have a great sense of humor. They have learned to balance what they love in life - acting, school and everything else.
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I don't sleep. I hate those little slices of death.
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I don't go to New York. I don't go to parties. I just do my business and study nature. My career is 28 years in an obscure art school, with limited staff and no perks. All I am is a teacher.
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When you're first learning how to do eyeliner, it's really hard to get both lids the same. A good tip for when you're putting it on, is to make sure your elbow is on a table. Make sure your arm's really stable. And make sure you have an eye makeup q-tip to get that really sharp line.
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I'm hopeful that Israelis can go to Ramallah whenever they want and see how the people are living.
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Good satire comes from anger. It comes from a sense of injustice, that there are wrongs in the world that need to be fixed. And what better place to get that well of venom and outrage boiling than a newsroom, because you're on the front lines.
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I am the hero of Africa.
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Ayahuasca is driven by sound, by song, by whistling. And its ability to transform sound, including vocal sound, into the visual spectrum indicates that some kind of information processing membrane or boundary is being overcome by the pharmacology of this stuff. And things normally experienced as acoustically experienced becomes visibly beheld, and it's quite spectacular.
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There isn't a woman alive who doesn't have problems with her body. Including me!
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I'm sick of making bloody history.
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The role of an actor is to make every character believable.
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We psychonauts are all going to go into the books as pioneers, because it's too early for us to be anything else. There's no map, no finished database, just anecdotes of the crazy, crazy stuff that goes on. That's why it's so important to try and share our stories.
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I've always been an actor, even when I was doing improv and my own version of stand up.