Alan Alda Quotes
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I'm most at home on the stage. I was carried onstage for the first time when I was six months old.
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For me, I find that even though I've accomplished a few things in my life, looking back on accomplishments doesn't give me a sense of satisfaction.
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My mother didn't try to stab my father until I was six, but she must have shown signs of oddness before that.
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I used to be a Catholic. I left because I object to conversion by concussion. If you don't agree with what they teach, you get clobbered over the head until you do. All that does is change the shape of the head.
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During the first day, curious at having outsiders among them, a long stream of inmates came over and talked with me. Remarkably, according to what they told me, nearly every inmate in the prison didn't do it. Several thousand people had been locked up unjustly and, by an incredible coincidence, all in the same prison. On the other hand, they knew an awful lot about how to knife somebody.
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I've been lucky enough to live through all the things that are supposed to give meaning to our lives, like parenting, grandparenting, art, celebrity. All these things you expect meaning to come from, and sometimes it comes when you're not expecting it.
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I was a child, and my mother was psychotic. She loved me, but I didn't really feel I had a mother. And when you live with somebody who is paranoid and thinks you're trying to kill them all the time, you tend to feel a little betrayed.
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There's a vacancy now that no president can fill, no power on Earth can fill, ... Others will step in and fill in his shoes excellently. But no one can replace the unique presence that was Peter.
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It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich.
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I found I wasn't asking good enough questions because I assumed I knew something.
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The best things said come last. People will talk for hours saying nothing much and then linger at the door with words that come with a rush from the heart.
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I think I look better in a suit than a loincloth. So that may define some of the parts I play.
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The one thing I think I've noticed about shows that are supposed to be funny on television is that they've sort of become routinized, so there's an awful lot of mannerisms and joke lines that are sort of there to trigger laughter, rather than give actors a chance to play a moment.
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I don't watch that much TV, so I can't compare one show to another. When I watch television, I watch people talking to one another usually or a science show where they show me microbes, you know. Microbes actually communicate quite a bit, and so there's a lot of talking going on.
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I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!
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Achingly funny as it was, Larry Gelbart's writing gave off sparks that turned a hard light on the way we are.
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I would like to know that when I read the paper in the morning, it's telling me something that actually happened, and I think the vast majority of journalists want the same thing.
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I know there's a creative side to artists to - pardon me - there's a creative side to scientists already, but there may be an artistic side, too, waiting to break free.
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Testosterone Poisoning: … Until now it has been thought that the level of testosterone in men is normal simply because they have it. But if you consider how abnormal their behavior is, then you are led to the hypothesis that almost all men are suffering from ‘testosterone poisoning.’
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For nearly a quarter of a century three men in this country were anchors in more ways than one. At a time so many things in our country were changing, they were solid.
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The good thing about being a hypocrite is that you get to keep your values.
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As I am becoming older, the only thing that speeds up is time.
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I'm greedy for that satisfaction of doing something hard and knowing that, even though I was afraid I couldn't do it, that somehow I can deliver.
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You can watch actors create their illusions, but if you don't see where they get the pigeons from, you don't really know how they're doing it.