Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Virtues, n. pl. Certain abstentions.
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Absurdity, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
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In'ards, n. pl. The stomach, heart, soul, and other bowels.
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Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forego.
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Quotation, n. The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. The words erroneously repeated.
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Cabbage, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
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Backbite, v.t. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
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Clock, n.: A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.
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This is a simple story of a battle; such a tale as may be told by a soldier who is no writer to a reader who is no soldier.
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Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision.
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While you have a future do not live too much in contemplation of your past: unless you are content to walk backward the mirror is a poor guide.
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Marriage, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Erudition, n. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
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The money-getter who pleads his love of work has a lame defense, for love of work at money-getting is a lower taste than love of money.
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Wisdom is known only by contrasting it with folly; by shadow only we perceive that all visible objects are not flat. Yet Philanthropos would abolish evil!
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Friendless, adj. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense
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Mayonnaise, n. One of the sauces that serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Revelation, n. A famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.
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We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect.
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Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.
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Infancy, n. The period of our lives when, according to Wordsworth, 'Heaven lies about us.' The world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
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Generous, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It now means noble by nature and is taking a bit of a rest.
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Non-combatant, n. A dead Quaker.