Ambrose Bierce Quotes
-
This is a simple story of a battle; such a tale as may be told by a soldier who is no writer to a reader who is no soldier.
-
Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness.
-
Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
-
The game of discontent has its rules, and he who disregards them cheats. It is not permitted to you to wish to add another's advantages or possessions to your own; you are permitted only to wish to be another.
-
Absurdity, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
-
Labor, n. One of the processes by which A acquires property of B.
-
Woman would be more charming if one could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.
-
If you would be accounted great by your contemporaries, be not too much greater than they.
-
Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
-
Revelation, n. A famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.
-
Freebooter, n. A conqueror in a small way of business, whose annexations lack of the sanctifying merit of magnitude.
-
Friendless, adj. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense
-
Generous, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It now means noble by nature and is taking a bit of a rest.
-
Un-American, adj. Wicked, intolerable, heathenish.
-
The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.
-
The poor man's price of admittance to the favor of the rich is his self-respect.
-
Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
-
Prejudice, n. A vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
-
Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron, namely, that he is a blockhead.
-
Year, n. A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
-
Zeal, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth before a sprawl.
-
O proud philanthropist, your hope is vainTo get by giving what you lost by gain.
-
Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.
-
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that they themselves are sane.