Ambrose Bierce Quotes
-
O proud philanthropist, your hope is vainTo get by giving what you lost by gain.
-
Once, adj. Enough.
-
Christian, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ so long as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
-
Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness.
-
Un-American, adj. Wicked, intolerable, heathenish.
-
Freebooter, n. A conqueror in a small way of business, whose annexations lack of the sanctifying merit of magnitude.
-
Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
-
Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
-
Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
-
Ambition, n. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
-
To be comic is merely to be playful, but wit is a serious matter. To laugh at it is to confess that you do not understand.
-
Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.
-
Labor, n. One of the processes by which A acquires property of B.
-
Abstainer, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
-
Bacchus, n. A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
-
The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of remarkable Christian forbearance among men-were it not for a mawkish humanitarianism, coupled with imperfect digestive powers, we should devour our young, as Nature intended.
-
The game of discontent has its rules, and he who disregards them cheats. It is not permitted to you to wish to add another's advantages or possessions to your own; you are permitted only to wish to be another.
-
Prejudice, n. A vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
-
The poor man's price of admittance to the favor of the rich is his self-respect.
-
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that they themselves are sane.
-
If you would be accounted great by your contemporaries, be not too much greater than they.
-
Bride, n. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
-
The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.
-
When prosperous the fool trembles for the evil that is to come; in adversity the philosopher smiles for the good that he has had.