J. B. Smoove Quotes
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I wish black people had a flag they could put into the ground, like when the troops stormed Iwo Jima.
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When you speak directly at things and don't say you're going to try to do something or that you hope to do something, the universe will work with you. Think about it this way - a boomerang goes out and comes back to you if you throw it. If you throw it out at the universe, it will come back down to you on Earth.
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Some of the best dramatic actors have started in comedy.
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I'm big on facial expressions, and I'm big on mannerisms, which I find to be hilarious.
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When I first started doing comedy years ago, I used to be the biggest Michael Richards fan. I used to love this dude. He was on a TV show called 'Fridays,' and man, he was tall and lanky - and I was tall and lanky. I love physical comedy, and he was a physical comedian, and I said, 'Man, I love this guy.'
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I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and a writer at 'SNL,' I tell people that everything you do is all a piece of your puzzle to determine where you're going to end up at.
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People love things about Hollywood. People love to see the inside of what's going on.
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I steal scenes, I steal opportunities. I am the ultimate thief. I got sticky fingers, man. They all call me The Thief.
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'The ruckus' is different experiences you go through throughout your life which builds your ruckus points up - your tolerance. You've got to have a high tolerance for dealing with stuff all the time.
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If a director brings a guy to their movie who does improv, they've got to let him do what he does - otherwise it's like bringing Michael Jordan to your basketball team and telling him to just pass the ball and don't shoot.
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For me, standup will always be some part of my life, and other things will move around and find their place.
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When I started stand-up, the first thing I did was to take an improv class.
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What happens in improv is you create your own storyline.
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Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?
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Women put guys through tests all the time.
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Sometimes you can make friends, and sometimes you can take friends. Sometimes people want to be friends with you, and you gotta be like, 'Okay, I can deal with this person's personality and be their friend, but not necessarily do I have to change who I am. I'm not gonna change myself to be their friend.'
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I loved Peter Sellers. I thought he was the perfect mix of physical comedy with out-of-the-box humor. I loved his tone; I loved his physicality; I loved everything about what he was doing as a comedic actor.
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I'm trying to be the Jay-Z of comedy one day. I don't know if there's any comedy moguls out there, but I would love to be the first comedy mogul.
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Police blog or entertainment news, it's just good to see your name in print.
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I wouldn't want to be someone's roommate, that's for sure. You can't do certain things: you can't leave the bathroom door open... you can't put your feet on the couch, you can't hide stuff in the couch.
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At the top of this list has to be "get in that ass". It's the ultimate Leonism to get you through life.
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I should be European, man. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat.
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You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?
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To be a true comic, you have to have a signature move. You ever watch wrestling? And your favorite wrestler has the one move that he always does to finish his opponent off, right? Like when he climbs on the rope, and he always jumps off the top rope and finishes off his opponent - that's what a comic has.