J. B. Smoove Quotes
-
You got to start by doing little things if your quest is to take over the world.
-
I don't like to dabble in anything I don't do well. I don't talk politics.
-
When I first started doing comedy years ago, I used to be the biggest Michael Richards fan. I used to love this dude. He was on a TV show called 'Fridays,' and man, he was tall and lanky - and I was tall and lanky. I love physical comedy, and he was a physical comedian, and I said, 'Man, I love this guy.'
-
I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and a writer at 'SNL,' I tell people that everything you do is all a piece of your puzzle to determine where you're going to end up at.
-
I steal scenes, I steal opportunities. I am the ultimate thief. I got sticky fingers, man. They all call me The Thief.
-
Some of the best dramatic actors have started in comedy.
-
I'm trying to be the Jay-Z of comedy one day. I don't know if there's any comedy moguls out there, but I would love to be the first comedy mogul.
-
I'm big on facial expressions, and I'm big on mannerisms, which I find to be hilarious.
-
People love things about Hollywood. People love to see the inside of what's going on.
-
What happens in improv is you create your own storyline.
-
If a director brings a guy to their movie who does improv, they've got to let him do what he does - otherwise it's like bringing Michael Jordan to your basketball team and telling him to just pass the ball and don't shoot.
-
When I started stand-up, the first thing I did was to take an improv class.
-
Sometimes you can make friends, and sometimes you can take friends. Sometimes people want to be friends with you, and you gotta be like, 'Okay, I can deal with this person's personality and be their friend, but not necessarily do I have to change who I am. I'm not gonna change myself to be their friend.'
-
'The ruckus' is different experiences you go through throughout your life which builds your ruckus points up - your tolerance. You've got to have a high tolerance for dealing with stuff all the time.
-
Sometimes you got to put somebody in their place, let them know that you mean business and you're a grown ass man.
-
For me, standup will always be some part of my life, and other things will move around and find their place.
-
Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?
-
I wouldn't want to be someone's roommate, that's for sure. You can't do certain things: you can't leave the bathroom door open... you can't put your feet on the couch, you can't hide stuff in the couch.
-
Women put guys through tests all the time.
-
You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?
-
I loved Peter Sellers. I thought he was the perfect mix of physical comedy with out-of-the-box humor. I loved his tone; I loved his physicality; I loved everything about what he was doing as a comedic actor.
-
I should be European, man. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat.
-
At the top of this list has to be "get in that ass". It's the ultimate Leonism to get you through life.
-
I could never live with you; not 'cause I'm racist or nothing. It's just 'cause as a black man in America, I need to have someone I can come home and complain about white people to. And that just don't work with my white wife.