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I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.
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I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at.
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There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it.
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You know, the people who do indie film and decide who gets those little budgets? They're mean, man. They're cold and very cool-oriented.
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I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed.
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If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are.
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I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from.
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People get successful and they start saying, 'Well of course I am! I was chosen! I'm special!' No, you're not.
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I like all ladies of all different ages.
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There's two kinds of press that you get when you put out a TV show: The reviews, and the people that just decide what the reviews say.
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I do actually use a boxing trainer when I train for stand-up.
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Gay men have to go through something to own their - who they are. They get beat up. They get ostracized. Whatever they go through, if they survive it, they come out very confident people.
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People don't talk to me on airplanes.
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Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on.
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Everything that people say is testable.
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I love comedians. They're my community.
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I'm not a political comedian. That's just not what I do.
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Oh, I love stand-up.
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I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?'
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There's a woman I see who's not my therapist, but she's like an old friend who's a therapist in profession. She lets me talk to her like a therapist once in a while, and she does a great thing. Whenever I have a big dilemma, like this is a big problem in my life, she always says, 'Wow, you're going to have to figure that out.'
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I don't think it makes any sense to try to get anyone to not talk.
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I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor.
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America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.
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I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.