Louis C. K. Quotes
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I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash.
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Perception is created and twisted so quickly.
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Whenever I've encountered a Christian saying, 'Why don't you stop talking like that so I can hear you?' I think, 'Well you're the one putting the earmuffs on, but I wish you could hear me because I like you.'
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I definitely look at my body and I go: 'Yuck.'
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I'm enjoying the work while I get it right now.
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When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us.
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For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money.
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I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish - that's what I hope heaven is, that they tell you who shot JFK and all that stuff.
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If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.
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I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad.
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To me the goal of comedy is to just laugh, which is a really high hearted thing, visceral connection and reaction.
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I never viewed money as being 'my money' I always saw it as 'the money.' It's a resource. If it pools up around me then it needs to be flushed back out into the system.
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I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out.
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Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it.
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I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is.
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When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'
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I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.
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A lot of the struggle I had with movies is I really loved moments and tones and feelings in a scene, and I loved creating those, but I never really had great stories to string them together.
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Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very suspicious. It doesn't make sense to me that you'd have the same solution to every issue.
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I was an awkward kid.
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I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'
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To me, art supplies are always okay to buy.
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I don't have a room full of writers pitching ideas. It's just me out of my head.
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It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen.