Louis C. K. Quotes
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When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore.
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The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness.
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When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'
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I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out.
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If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.
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You can't direct without a good crew.
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For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money.
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I don't have a room full of writers pitching ideas. It's just me out of my head.
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I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that were a little more offbeat.
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There are people that really live by doing the right thing, but I don't know what that is, I'm really curious about that. I'm really curious about what people think they're doing when they're doing something evil, casually. I think it's really interesting, that we benefit from suffering so much, and we excuse ourselves from it.
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I never viewed money as being 'my money' I always saw it as 'the money.' It's a resource. If it pools up around me then it needs to be flushed back out into the system.
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I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad.
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When I read things like the foundations of capitalism are shattering, I'm like, maybe we need that. Maybe we need some time where we're walking around with a donkey with pots clanging on the sides.
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I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.
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I was an awkward kid.
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I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash.
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Some entertainers don't pay attention to what's going on around them.
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To me, art supplies are always okay to buy.
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I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.
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When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep.
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When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us.
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A lot of the struggle I had with movies is I really loved moments and tones and feelings in a scene, and I loved creating those, but I never really had great stories to string them together.
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I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.
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I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'