Louis C. K. Quotes
-
If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, like, six months. It's a nightmare to get punched in the eye.
-
When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes.
-
A lot of TV is put together by teams, by writing staffs and several different directors. It's a great, very smart way to make television. It's worked for however long TV's been around.
-
When you're young as a comic, you don't have a lot of leverage.
-
Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go, 'Ugh'.
-
Pushing the envelope' sort of implies that you're inside the envelope with everyone else, and you're trying to find the edges on the outsides.
-
There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I hate you.' But to me, it's more interesting to say, 'What is this person like and how do they really think?'
-
It's easier to cancel a show if it's expensive.
-
Comedians work great as actors because they're good under pressure. With a lot of actors, you have to make them feel like everything's going really well to get a good performance out of them. But, if you have a comedian on the set, you can tell them, 'Hey, you really are screwing this up,' and then they just get better.
-
A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody.
-
It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me.
-
When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore.
-
I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of.
-
I've always loved boxing. It's something I've always been extremely excited about.
-
When I got divorced, I thought 'Well, there goes my act.'
-
Perception is created and twisted so quickly.
-
I definitely look at my body and I go: 'Yuck.'
-
I could never sit down and write jokes.
-
Whenever I've encountered a Christian saying, 'Why don't you stop talking like that so I can hear you?' I think, 'Well you're the one putting the earmuffs on, but I wish you could hear me because I like you.'
-
I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that were a little more offbeat.
-
I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash.
-
Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.
-
I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish - that's what I hope heaven is, that they tell you who shot JFK and all that stuff.
-
To me the goal of comedy is to just laugh, which is a really high hearted thing, visceral connection and reaction.