Louis C. K. Quotes
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I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?'
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America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.
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Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance.
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I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.
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Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.
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My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people.
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Life is full of horrible mistakes.
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Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff.
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Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.
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It's easier to cancel a show if it's expensive.
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A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much.
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Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.
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I don't believe in this idea of, 'That's hate speech, stop it.'
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You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.
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Pushing the envelope' sort of implies that you're inside the envelope with everyone else, and you're trying to find the edges on the outsides.
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My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did. And that's something I regret, that I wasn't more careful about making sure that she was O.K. with it. I just sort of didn't ask. So that's how that goes.
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It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.
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I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do.
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The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it.
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If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, like, six months. It's a nightmare to get punched in the eye.
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When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes.
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You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses.'
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There's no such thing as a cheap laugh.
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When you're young as a comic, you don't have a lot of leverage.