Louis C. K. Quotes
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I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?'
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America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.
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I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.
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Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.
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Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance.
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Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff.
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It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.
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My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people.
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I don't believe in this idea of, 'That's hate speech, stop it.'
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Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.
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My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did. And that's something I regret, that I wasn't more careful about making sure that she was O.K. with it. I just sort of didn't ask. So that's how that goes.
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Life is full of horrible mistakes.
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You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses.'
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I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do.
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I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work.
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The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it.
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Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.
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To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me.
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You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.
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When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes.
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There's no such thing as a cheap laugh.
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Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it's me.
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If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, like, six months. It's a nightmare to get punched in the eye.
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It's hard to know where your thoughts come from, especially when you have a thirst for material because you need it professionally.