Louis C. K. Quotes
-
I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.
-
If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't.
-
Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.
-
Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance.
-
It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.
-
I don't believe in this idea of, 'That's hate speech, stop it.'
-
Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.
-
Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff.
-
My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did. And that's something I regret, that I wasn't more careful about making sure that she was O.K. with it. I just sort of didn't ask. So that's how that goes.
-
You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses.'
-
I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work.
-
I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do.
-
My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people.
-
Life is full of horrible mistakes.
-
Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.
-
I don't have a brother in real life.
-
Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it's me.
-
When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes.
-
To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me.
-
You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.
-
If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, like, six months. It's a nightmare to get punched in the eye.
-
There's no such thing as a cheap laugh.
-
I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die.
-
The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it.