Louis C. K. Quotes
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I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?'
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America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.
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I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.
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Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.
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Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance.
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It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.
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Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff.
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I don't believe in this idea of, 'That's hate speech, stop it.'
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My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did. And that's something I regret, that I wasn't more careful about making sure that she was O.K. with it. I just sort of didn't ask. So that's how that goes.
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My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people.
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Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.
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Life is full of horrible mistakes.
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You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses.'
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I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do.
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The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it.
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I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work.
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Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.
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To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me.
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When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes.
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You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.
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If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, like, six months. It's a nightmare to get punched in the eye.
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There's no such thing as a cheap laugh.
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When you're young as a comic, you don't have a lot of leverage.
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It's hard to know where your thoughts come from, especially when you have a thirst for material because you need it professionally.