Carol Burnett Quotes
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Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
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I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.
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Because nobody goes through life without a scar.
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I was very entertained by Betty Grable and Judy Garland.
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I was in California, and I was going to UCLA, and I knew I certainly didn't have movie star looks. I remember seeing pictures and photos of Ethel Merman and Mary Martin, who were kind of average looking. I said, 'Well, that's for me, then, to go back to New York and try to be in musical comedy on Broadway.'
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Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter.
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Because of YouTube, I'm getting fan mail from 10-year-olds and teenagers and college kids.
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I wanted to be on Broadway, but in musical comedy.
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You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has.
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I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.
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In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door.
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It all happened the way it was supposed to. I wouldn't change anything. I had such a great run.
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I was kind of shy as a kid. I was a pretty good student. I was a wallflower, or nerd, if you will.
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I prefer doing TV, where it can be different every time.
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I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany.
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I've always been able to recount things, and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that.
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I never regretted turning down anything, I never regretted losing a job because I always felt something else was out there.
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My childhood was rough, we were poor and my parents were alcoholics, but nobody was mean. I knew I was loved. We were on welfare, but I never felt abandoned or unloved.
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I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows.
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When I was starting out in this business, that was the norm. You did it all. You looked around, and entertainers could dance, sing, play the piano, act, make you laugh.
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I very much enjoyed doing 'Law & Order,' playing a killer - that was fun, and they had a family feel around the set, so it was a happy show to do even though the subject matter was quite the opposite.
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I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me.
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As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing.
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I have an iPhone, and I can text, and I can use the phone, and I can even take pictures with it.