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I have an iPhone, and I can text, and I can use the phone, and I can even take pictures with it.
Carol Burnett -
My favorite is doing the television show, as a variety show, every week. If the show wasn't that great one week, we could always come back and apologize, you know?
Carol Burnett
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My first book was an open letter to my three daughters.
Carol Burnett -
I loved doing 'The Family' with Eunice and Mama. They were very interesting because there were no jokes written into those sketches. It was all character-driven. And sometimes it got a little heavy.
Carol Burnett -
I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances.
Carol Burnett -
My favourite comedian, of course, is Tim Conway. He has a way about him - being that belly-laugh kind of funny, and he has the improvisational skills, too. I've never seen anybody better.
Carol Burnett -
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Carol Burnett -
My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.
Carol Burnett
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We don't stop going to school when we graduate.
Carol Burnett -
My preference is for people who can do sketch comedy or situational comedy, where it's not a joke, but it's telling a story.
Carol Burnett -
I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry.
Carol Burnett -
I'm hooked on Glenn Close in 'Damages.'
Carol Burnett -
I liked myself better when I wasn't me.
Carol Burnett -
Steve Martin in 'All of Me,' when he did that whole thing where he was possessed by the spirit in his body? It was brilliant.
Carol Burnett
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What I like to write about is stuff I know. I don't think I could write a novel. I don't think I have it in me to come up with those kinds of characters.
Carol Burnett -
I'm like your mother, your sister, whatever.
Carol Burnett -
Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing.
Carol Burnett -
I've always been optimistic. And I have a feeling that it happened because of going to all those movies with my grandmother in the '40s because there was no cynicism.
Carol Burnett -
My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know what I mean. We would hang out behind the ropes and look at the movie stars arriving at the premieres.
Carol Burnett -
I loved the Kennedy Center Honors because you just sit there, smile, wave, and cry.
Carol Burnett
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Comedy is tragedy - plus time.
Carol Burnett -
I'm so happy with what has happened in my life.
Carol Burnett -
It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.
Carol Burnett -
I had always been quiet and studious in school. I was the high school editor of the newspaper.
Carol Burnett