Carol Burnett Quotes
I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.

Quotes to Explore
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I've lost fights before where I'm landing more punches and I'm moving away from the guy. So, the way that they score things at the end doesn't seem very consistent to me.
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My sisters are amazing. My sister is my business partner, my twin. She's an amazing producer, writer. You know, we're just grinding and trying to make my mother proud as well as God.
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I wish I'd gone to music school or just started playing in bands sooner.
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I don't do fake. That's the first thing you should know about me. I'm not one to put on airs or change my demeanor depending on where I am or who I am talking to.
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Hebrew is the language I use to thank the Creator and, also, to swear on the road.
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On my tombstone, I want written: 'He never did 'Love Boat!'
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I recently went to New York for the first time, and honey, I'm in love with that place. I'm obsessed with its sausages.
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When people go through tragic circumstances, it's not that there is no love there, but it's so hard to deal with and sometimes the gap starts to happen.
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I cook more theoretically than I do practically. My job is creative, and in the kitchen, the biggest part of my creativity is theoretical.
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Let's overwhelm the Castro regime with iPhones, iPads, American cars and American ingenuity.
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We want every human being in the womb to be safe, not have these babies be killed to solve some dilemma.
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I have to get a workout in in the morning. Once my day starts, I'll have the best intentions, and it still won't happen: one of the kids needs to be picked up somewhere, I have to hop on a conference call, or I'm just tired. So I get it done in the A.M.
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If the U.N. didn't exist, we'd be inventing it right now.
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So I consider myself a dog person. Kind of. Had dogs when I was a kid, but my parents would never have dreamed of having them in the house.
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I was trying to be Mary Tyler Moore. I loved her in 'The Dick Van Dyke Show.'
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When I came into WWE, what I said to myself was, I wanted to change the term from 'divas' to 'women.'
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Listening is more important than anything else because that's what music is. Somebody is playing something and you're receiving it. It is sending and receiving.
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Simply put, when women do well, everybody does better.
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There was an ancient Roman lawyer, of great fame in the history of Roman jurisprudence, whom they called Cui Bono, from his having first introduced into judicial proceedings the argument, 'What end or object could the party have had in the act with which he is accused.'
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Haiti is 10.4-million people, of whom 35 per cent are children under 15. The country has always had great potential - and this is still the case. Our ill fortune has long been a matter of bad governance. And now things have changed.
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Ugliness is more inventive than beauty. Beauty always follows certain camps. I think it's more amusing - ugliness - than beauty.
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Lay not on any soul a load that you would not wish to be laid upon you, and desire not for any one the things you would not desire for yourself.
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I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.