Anthony Jeselnik Quotes
That's the worst way you can hear about comedy material: from a third person's blog story that they wrote when they were upset.
Quotes to Explore
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With the changing economy, no one has lifetime employment. But community colleges provide lifetime employability.
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If you want to put golf back on the front pages again, and you don't have a Bobby Jones or a Francis Ouimet handy, here's what you do: You send an aging Jack Nicklaus out in the last round of the Masters and let him kill more foreigners than a general named Eisenhower.
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When you have all these traces of trash moving around, you can ask yourself how can we make the system more efficient. Then we can make better decisions. And perhaps we will not throw away the plastic bottles that go every day to the dump.
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It's really rare to come across a character, a show, or a movie that allows you to completely play four or five different characters within a season, let alone a week.
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When men are romantically interested in you, it's really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do.
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I'm not a straight man, but I play one on television.
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The book to read is not the one which thinks for you, but the one which makes you think. No book in the world equals the Bible for that.
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I love cats. I've had cats as pets.
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Why has the Democratic Party become so arrogantly detached from ordinary Americans? Though they claim to speak for the poor and dispossessed, Democrats have increasingly become the party of an upper-middle-class professional elite, top-heavy with journalists, academics and lawyers.
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True as the needle to the pole, Or as the dial to the sun.
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Life stands before me like an eternal spring with new and brilliant clothes.
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The actors in 'Eight Men Out' really know how to play, and the background athletes are all professionals.
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I didn't get anything published until I was thirty-three, and yet I'd written five novels and six or seven plays. The plays, I should point out, were dreadful.
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I see it every day: People trying to create a home that somebody else tells them they should have. I don't care if it's a magazine or a bossy friend - when somebody says, 'This is what's elegant, this is what's trendy,' if it doesn't represent you, you're not going to be happy.
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In the 1960s and '70s, there wasn't much evidence at all. We knew vaguely the causes of cancer, but methods like genomics were very new.
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I don't happen to approve of plastic surgery. I think God put plastic surgeons on this earth for good reasons - people get burned or people might have a nose like Pinocchio and that has to be fixed. But to just chop yourself up to look a few years younger? You could come out looking like a Picasso picture.
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The world throws you out of your body, especially the cyberworld.
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I still can't quite believe it. Although there was something about the fact that it was a first-time writer, a first-time producer, and a first-time director all at the same time.
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I adore my family. I don't love their politics. I think they're wonderful parents. They were dreadful at parenting.
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I ended the war a horse ahead.
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Sometimes I lose a whole morning waiting on journalists and other people who look for me. But I always find some time for reading, talking to my friends and feeling what is happening in this world.
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I didn't respond to people thrusting microphones at me and asking me questions that were unanswerable in a sound bite.
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'American Idol' is a juggernaut... Because of my 'American Idol' win, I am able to do the thing that I love most, which is to be an entertainer.
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That's the worst way you can hear about comedy material: from a third person's blog story that they wrote when they were upset.
