Anthony Jeselnik Quotes

I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.

Anthony Jeselnik

• Funny

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• I'm an actor, and I like having attention, I guess. There's a reason I like being on stage. There's a reason I like being in front of a camera. It's that interaction.

  

  Tatiana Maslany
  • Attention
  • Like
  • Camera

• Success to me is having ten honeydew melons and eating only the top half of each slice.

  

  Barbra Streisand
  • Success
  • Me
  • Eating

• I feel like I missed a whole period of my childhood because I had a bunch of stressful things happen to me when I was like 17, 18, when people usually feel the most free in life, like going to college and like anything is possible.

  

  Jack Antonoff Fun.
  • People
  • Life
  • Free

• For me to go casual is not to go simple. To me, it is to be able to bring back the art of tradition and the soul of French food and my interpretation of that.

  

  Daniel Boulud
  • Art
  • Soul
  • Food

• That's one of the things I miss most about Australia - the countryside.

  

  Yvonne Strahovski
  • Most
  • Australia
  • Countryside

• He that climbs the tall tree has won right to the fruit, He that leaps the wide gulf should prevail in his suit.

  

  Walter Scott
  • Tree
  • Fruit
  • Tall

• I know the power obedience has of making things easy which seem impossible.

  

  Saint Teresa of Avila
  • Power
  • Easy
  • Impossible

• It's funny to think that when you get done with an acting job, you're considered unemployed. There are definitely times when those checks don't last forever. I went to college at a private school, and I racked up quite a bit of debt. I was very slow to pay them back.

  

  Rami Malek
  • Up
  • School
  • Done

• I am so, so lucky. I am the luckiest girl in the world, really. And still with access to everything I could possibly want I still say 'Oh dear, what am I going to wear today?' There's no ending to that question!

  

  Salma Hayek
  • World
  • Today
  • Girl

• When I was a kid just starting out on the radio, I would always watch people. And I'd see the interest they'd have in trying to get a photo with an artist or get a ticket stub signed. I guess, to me, that's the ultimate thing – to know that what you've done is important enough to other people that they want to take a picture with you.

  

  Eddie Trunk
  • People
  • Important
  • Artist

• Each great athlete must some day bow to that perennial old champion, Father Time, even as I, for Time eventually wins.

  

  Major Taylor
  • Time
  • Great
  • Father

• Women are capable of doing so many things these days, physically, emotionally, within relationships and career. There are so many things that women have evolved into and I feel really proud about where women are right now.

  

  Cameron Diaz
  • Women
  • Career
  • Proud

• I wasn't like those girls who give birth and are back on the runway. It took me probably six months to gain 45 pounds and I would say it took me double that time to lose it.

  

  Padma Lakshmi
  • Time
  • Me
  • Birth

• The funny thing is that my husband couldn't be sweeter. He looks like this bad boy. He's got tattoos and earrings and a mohawk, but when you talk to him and he's around you, he's such a gentleman. He holds doors for ladies. He pulls out chairs. He cooks. He cleans.

  

  Malin Akerman
  • Bad
  • Funny
  • Boy

• I was described as a dreamer, a fantasist, even as the village idiot. I didn't care. What I cared about was convincing people to allow me to go on with my work.

  

  Ada Yonath
  • People
  • Work
  • Care

• It is better to entertain an idea than to take it home to live with you for the rest of your life.

  

  Randall Jarrell
  • Life
  • Live
  • Home

• We need to do more to conserve fuel or face tougher choices such as steep price increase or even quantitative restrictions.

  

  Veerappa Moily
  • Choices
  • Need
  • Face

• Anytime I met an actor, I just attacked them and said, 'How did you do this?' Eventually, I began to realize that you went to school for it. I wasn't a bright kid, so it took me a long time to figure that out.

  

  Patrick J. Adams
  • Time
  • Long
  • School

• When World AIDS Day was first observed in 1988, there was no truly effective treatment for what was almost always a deadly disease.

  

  Bernie Sanders
  • World

• You know I never used to be a bad flyer, but I did start to have a fear of flying after I shot a movie where I was terrorized on a plane. I made Wes Craven's 'Red Eye'. I don't think they're linked but it does make me pause and wonder if they are, so perhaps I will explore that in therapy some day.

  

  Rachel McAdams
  • Bad
  • Movie
  • Fear

• I was a funny kid growing up, and I did improv in college and went to Pratt Institute, but I did it very informally. It was just me and some of my friends goofing around on campus.

  

  Phoebe Robinson
  • Up
  • Friends
  • Funny

• The funny thing about voice over is you can go in in sweatpants and have your hair all messed up, and no one will see you, and you can still deliver the same great product.

  

  Elizabeth Gillies
  • Up
  • Great
  • Funny

• So I watched the Pink Panther last night, and so I'm trying desperately to be funny, and then it's just not working out so good... I wonder if maybe I could've been a comedian or something like that, or maybe I could've been a doctor, then I wouldn't have to make anyone laugh.

  

  Dave Matthews Dave Matthews Band
  • Good
  • Trying
  • Night

• I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.

  

  Anthony Jeselnik
  • Funny