Anthony Jeselnik Quotes

I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.

Anthony Jeselnik

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Quotes to Explore

• I'm an actor, and I like having attention, I guess. There's a reason I like being on stage. There's a reason I like being in front of a camera. It's that interaction.

  

  Tatiana Maslany
  • Attention
  • Like
  • Camera

• Success to me is having ten honeydew melons and eating only the top half of each slice.

  

  Barbra Streisand
  • Success
  • Me
  • Eating

• I feel like I missed a whole period of my childhood because I had a bunch of stressful things happen to me when I was like 17, 18, when people usually feel the most free in life, like going to college and like anything is possible.

  

  Jack Antonoff Fun.
  • People
  • Life
  • Free

• For me to go casual is not to go simple. To me, it is to be able to bring back the art of tradition and the soul of French food and my interpretation of that.

  

  Daniel Boulud
  • Art
  • Soul
  • Food

• That's one of the things I miss most about Australia - the countryside.

  

  Yvonne Strahovski
  • Most
  • Australia
  • Countryside

• He that climbs the tall tree has won right to the fruit, He that leaps the wide gulf should prevail in his suit.

  

  Walter Scott
  • Tree
  • Fruit
  • Tall

• I know the power obedience has of making things easy which seem impossible.

  

  Saint Teresa of Avila
  • Power
  • Easy
  • Impossible

• It's funny to think that when you get done with an acting job, you're considered unemployed. There are definitely times when those checks don't last forever. I went to college at a private school, and I racked up quite a bit of debt. I was very slow to pay them back.

  

  Rami Malek
  • Up
  • School
  • Done

• I am so, so lucky. I am the luckiest girl in the world, really. And still with access to everything I could possibly want I still say 'Oh dear, what am I going to wear today?' There's no ending to that question!

  

  Salma Hayek
  • World
  • Today
  • Girl

• When I was a kid just starting out on the radio, I would always watch people. And I'd see the interest they'd have in trying to get a photo with an artist or get a ticket stub signed. I guess, to me, that's the ultimate thing – to know that what you've done is important enough to other people that they want to take a picture with you.

  

  Eddie Trunk
  • People
  • Important
  • Artist

• Each great athlete must some day bow to that perennial old champion, Father Time, even as I, for Time eventually wins.

  

  Major Taylor
  • Time
  • Great
  • Father

• Women are capable of doing so many things these days, physically, emotionally, within relationships and career. There are so many things that women have evolved into and I feel really proud about where women are right now.

  

  Cameron Diaz
  • Women
  • Career
  • Proud

• I wasn't like those girls who give birth and are back on the runway. It took me probably six months to gain 45 pounds and I would say it took me double that time to lose it.

  

  Padma Lakshmi
  • Time
  • Me
  • Birth

• The funny thing is that my husband couldn't be sweeter. He looks like this bad boy. He's got tattoos and earrings and a mohawk, but when you talk to him and he's around you, he's such a gentleman. He holds doors for ladies. He pulls out chairs. He cooks. He cleans.

  

  Malin Akerman
  • Bad
  • Funny
  • Boy

• I was described as a dreamer, a fantasist, even as the village idiot. I didn't care. What I cared about was convincing people to allow me to go on with my work.

  

  Ada Yonath
  • People
  • Work
  • Care

• It is better to entertain an idea than to take it home to live with you for the rest of your life.

  

  Randall Jarrell
  • Life
  • Live
  • Home

• We need to do more to conserve fuel or face tougher choices such as steep price increase or even quantitative restrictions.

  

  Veerappa Moily
  • Choices
  • Need
  • Face

• Anytime I met an actor, I just attacked them and said, 'How did you do this?' Eventually, I began to realize that you went to school for it. I wasn't a bright kid, so it took me a long time to figure that out.

  

  Patrick J. Adams
  • Time
  • Long
  • School

• We have actually experienced in recent months a dramatic demonstration of an unprecedented intelligence failure, perhaps the most significant intelligence failure in the history of the United States.

  

  Zbigniew Brzezinski
  • History
  • Failure
  • Most

• When I was 4, I had a schedule. I was playing softball. My brother was playing football. My parents were teachers, and they'd owned businesses. We like to work hard. Work and then books. Books and then work. We just knew that we had to excel. It sounds militant, but trust me, it was fun.

  

  Dawn Angeliqué Richard
  • Work
  • Fun
  • Parents

• After every major conflict - World War I, World War II, Korea, Vietnam, the fall of the Soviet Union - what happened was that we ultimately hollowed out the force, largely by doing deep across-the-board cuts.

  

  Leon Panetta
  • World
  • War
  • Fall

• Protecting Americans from harm goes beyond police and national defense. It's imperative that we not destroy the commons, the physical environment on which we rely.

  

  Kevin O'Leary
  • Environment
  • Police

• My first draft of Marvel Knights 'Black Panther' was not funny at all. They smartly rejected the entire script and counseled me to inject liberal doses of humor into very serious subject matter.

  

  Christopher Priest
  • Black
  • Funny
  • Serious

• I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.

  

  Anthony Jeselnik
  • Funny