Aziz Ansari Quotes
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Being a rapper is about being cool, but being a comedian, you're not supposed to be the coolest guy.
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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
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The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.
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Even in my stand-up, there's a lot more positivity and enthusiasm rather than negative, I-hate-everything vibes.
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I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration.
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Most single people I know, myself included, have a difficult time even meeting up with the people they like, be it busy schedules, texting games, or whatever.
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It's much more fun to share and laugh at the bad times and the frustrations. I find you get a much deeper connection with the audience that way.
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I have found that she is as kind and caring a person as she is hilarious. Simply put, Amy Poehler is my hero.
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You’re a feminist if you go to a Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, and you’re not like, ‘Mmm, I feel like Beyoncé should get 23 percent less money than Jay Z.'
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I prefer being totally sober myself.
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I talk about stuff like my Blackberry, Lost, the internet, music, etc. so I guess that leads to the "nerd" moniker. But I don't get it that much to be honest. I guess its better than being labeled a "racist" comedian.
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Yes, I'm married. But my wife understands that a good politician has to be appealing to the ladies. The fact that I haven't even gotten close to cheating on her is a disappointment to us both.
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Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you.
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I weirdly do consider myself an optimist about love.
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If it's possible, I binge. There are other shows, like 'The Americans' and 'Game of Thrones,' I watch and have to wait a week.
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I have a couple of 'doing caps' in my wallet. That's what I call condoms.
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I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.
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I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.
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Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.
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I'm like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it's like, OK, he's in there.
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With stand-up, I can have an idea, go down the street to a comedy club and work on it, flesh it out, book a venue, people will come, then film it. I do all that myself; I never have to answer to anybody.
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Your favorite kind of cake can't be birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.
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Everyone's first thought is "These women are going to take advantage of you" or "Someone's only going to date you because you're famous." That stuff's not really an issue because that's super-easy to see through.
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Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.