Aziz Ansari Quotes
-
It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different variations of a joke until I land on one I think is really good.
-
Everyone steals. My favorite movie is Love Don't Cost a Thing with Nick Cannon. Which is based on Can't Buy Me Love, which is based on Kramer vs. Kramer, or something, which I think was Shakespeare.
-
I always have my setlist planned out, but the best moments are when the energy of the crowd just gets your mind working and you are able to come up with new tags for jokes and just riff off things in the room.
-
I've never done online dating.
-
Oh, am I wearing an ascot? I didn't notice.
-
I'm always down to try a new burger, but Shake Shack is still my top. What makes them so special is for the bread they use Martin's potato rolls which is just the best hamburger buns ever.
-
Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.
-
The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
-
Like with 'Parks and Recreation,' it's so much fun because the people writing it are funny and they're open and you just go in there and have a good time. It's pretty much the easiest job I've ever had.
-
Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.
-
I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
-
If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.
-
The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.
-
I'm the kind of person, if I see something, like a funny video, I want to share it. With Twitter and Tumblr you can do that on a mass scale, and people get to know your personality.
-
I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.
-
I live in L.A., I go on tour all the time, I'm in New York half the year - it's very hard to be in a relationship.
-
You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'.
-
I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration.
-
Do you realize how much better the world would be if we all just treated each other the same way black dudes treat magicians?
-
Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
-
When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour. I try to eat at all the weird places, the obscure barbecue joints, burger places. There are a few spots in L.A. that I'm obsessed with - one of them is the Taco Zone taco truck on Alvarado. There are secret off-menu items that are amazing.
-
I spend so much time on the Internet...I feel like I'm a million pages into the worst book ever, and I'm never going to stop reading.
-
With stand-up, I can have an idea, go down the street to a comedy club and work on it, flesh it out, book a venue, people will come, then film it. I do all that myself; I never have to answer to anybody.
-
I'm so jealous of people who have crushes on people they go to school with, or work with. That's such a blessing. You actually get to see them all the time and spend time with them.