Aziz Ansari Quotes
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I'm so jealous of people who have crushes on people they go to school with, or work with. That's such a blessing. You actually get to see them all the time and spend time with them.
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You go to any Jay-Z concert, and he plays his hits. Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on. It's the hardest thing.
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I always have my setlist planned out, but the best moments are when the energy of the crowd just gets your mind working and you are able to come up with new tags for jokes and just riff off things in the room.
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Acting is a plum gig, and then animation is an even more plum gig.
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With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
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Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.
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If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights...
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I've always tried to maintain that I don't have any advice to give. I'm a curious observer.
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I live in L.A., I go on tour all the time, I'm in New York half the year - it's very hard to be in a relationship.
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Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.
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I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
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Like with 'Parks and Recreation,' it's so much fun because the people writing it are funny and they're open and you just go in there and have a good time. It's pretty much the easiest job I've ever had.
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Being a rapper is about being cool, but being a comedian, you're not supposed to be the coolest guy.
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I'm always down to try a new burger, but Shake Shack is still my top. What makes them so special is for the bread they use Martin's potato rolls which is just the best hamburger buns ever.
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Oh, am I wearing an ascot? I didn't notice.
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I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration.
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Even in my stand-up, there's a lot more positivity and enthusiasm rather than negative, I-hate-everything vibes.
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You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'.
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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
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I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.
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The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
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I'm the kind of person, if I see something, like a funny video, I want to share it. With Twitter and Tumblr you can do that on a mass scale, and people get to know your personality.
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With stand-up, I can have an idea, go down the street to a comedy club and work on it, flesh it out, book a venue, people will come, then film it. I do all that myself; I never have to answer to anybody.
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When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour. I try to eat at all the weird places, the obscure barbecue joints, burger places. There are a few spots in L.A. that I'm obsessed with - one of them is the Taco Zone taco truck on Alvarado. There are secret off-menu items that are amazing.