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The pointless snide remarks of hammerheaded sharks
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She looks like the real thing She tastes like the real thing My fake plastic love But I can't help the feeling I could blow through the ceiling If I just turn and run.
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I want to be part of the human race I want to live, breathe.
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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he's a goddamn chicken he doesn't know what the **** he's doing
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Do not tell me what I can and cannot do. I'll be as asian as I want to (Stretches his eyes in a racist manner).
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Occasionally I'll just pull out a rifle and shoot one of my audience members. So far there have been no complaints filed.
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I think what makes people ill a lot of the time is the belief that your thoughts are concrete and that you're responsible for your thoughts. Whereas actually - the way I see it - your thoughts are what the wind blows through your mind.
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My nickname in college was talentless midget who has a lazy eye is missing teeth resembles a shaved troll doll because I'm a talentless midget who has a lazy eye is missing teeth resembles a shaved troll dol
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The only real difference between me and chocolate pudding is that I am not a black man.
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I'm such a tease And you're such a flirt... Routines and schedules Drug and kill you Kill you.
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The allegations of me being a pedophile are spurious, at best. However I will admit that taking my knickers off in the park and having an Easter Egg hunt with those apple-cheeked four year olds was in my best interest and not theirs
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I had a dream where my face was a hamburger. What the?
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Hungry Hungry Hippos is so depressing. You continuously chomp away at those balls and you are alone and it's your birthday.'
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So how come it looks so beautiful? How come the moon falls from the sky?
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Yes I usually make my kids eat their veggie chops and watch my concerts in dead silence. If they ask to watch spongebob squarepants I usually do something volatile like make them eat a yellow sponge with googly eyes on it. I hit them quite a bit, but then again I blame the condom manufacturing government for forcing me to birth them.
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Isn't it strange how someone can be both human and divine at the same time? I am referring, of course, to myself.
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I've been working hard on a new song, it's titled "Frozen Piggy Pudding". It's about how the government is full of pigs who eat pudding all day. Oh look a frisbee, allo' govna.
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Space Jam is my favorite movie. Don't ask me why, it just is.
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My father slapped my thighs with a variety of meats until I began to cry and sulked in the corner. I later became a musician
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Open your mouth wide A universal sigh.
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The difference between me and Bono is that he's quite happy to go and flatter people to get what he wants and he's very good at it, but I just can't do it. I'd probably end up punching them in the face rather than shaking their hand, so it's best that I stay out of their way. I can't engage with that level of bullshit. Which is a shame, really, and in a way it would help if I could, but I just can't. I admire the fact that Bono can, and can walk away from it smelling of roses.
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Enjoy it - making music is a wonderful way to spend your life.. but do it for the love before a career... it's getting so unforgiving out there - I hate to think of the obstacles in the way now for new artists.. if you love it and you are good, you will be fine.. but be prepared to have to work hard and don't judge your success by other peoples opinions.. have self belief.
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I bought a blimp just so I could get a bunch of wankers excited over nothing, what did you do with your weekend?
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Sometimes we and the members of Coldplay have an orgy together, (Martin) insists we don't invite any women, but I always invite a few. Usually I sing Fake Plastic Trees while he reams me from behind *Laughs* It wears me out *laughs*.