Humorous Quotes
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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The concerts you enjoy together/ Neighbors you annoy together/ Children you destroy together,/ That keep marriage in tact.
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
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Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.
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An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.
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With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. "What shall we name the other one?" I smiled. She was not amused.
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Crocodiles have a smile I've seen on the face of every lawyer I've ever met.
